I'm Not Giving Up On You
by R.O97
Summary: Takes place 3 months after "The Descent" - 4x24 What happened during this time? How is the team dealing with Deeks' and Sam's torture? What's happening with Kensi and Deeks? DENSI -Completed- Disclaimer always stands.
1. Awakening

Hey guys!

So, this is my first fanfiction _ever._I hope you like it and if you could send me reviews, I could use some help.

Other thing, I'm portuguese if some parts of the story don't make sense, just let me know :)

About the story, I just love NCIS: LA so I decided to write about the development of the characters after this season's finale.

**-Rita**

DISCLAIMER: I'm portuguese, I don't think I can own anything !

Chapter 1 – Awakening

_3 months later_

Kensi woke up with the scream coming from the bedroom. She checked her watch, 'Damn, 4am'. She knew exactly what was happening. It was the third time that week. It was the first in two months that she had been sleeping for more than three hours though.

She got up, ran to the bedroom. He was still screaming, in panic. She reached him and hugged him saying, 'Hey there, I got you it'll be okay Deeks'. He stopped screaming when he felt her around him. He opened his eyes. She could feel his heart racing against her body. 'Here, drink this. Breathe in and breathe out.' she said handing him a glass of water. 'When will this end? I can't take this anymore!', he sighed laying back down, still scared. She sat beside him without saying a word. She knew he wouldn't want to talk about his nightmare but he wouldn't want her to go back to the couch either. So she just stood there, holding him, while his heart started to calm down. Right there, in the dark, silence was only interrupted by their breath.

xxxxx

Sam was sitting on the bench outside his house waiting for the sunrise. His recovery had been faster than anyone expected, but since the first day in the hospital he'd said he needed to make it, for Michelle and their daughter. And so he did.

Three months were enough to fully recover from all the internal damages caused by Sidorov and his ´partner'. It was 6.30am and he was already up because that was his first day back to work.

In those last three months, Sam hadn't seen the guys more than a couple of times back at the hospital. Except for Callen. He would go to his house every now and then. Sometimes to brief him about the smaller cases he and Kensi were dealing with and other times just to hang out with his partner.

Sitting on that bench, that morning, Sam remembered one of the conversations he had with Callen. They were on his backyard, on that same bench, and Callen had brought news about Deeks.

'He's in a pretty bad shape, at least that's what Kens told us.' Deeks was still in the hospital and Sam had came back home a week before.

'Have you been there with him?'

'Yeah, but Kensi is the one who's been staying there night after night..'

'I hope he can make it through this, he need to help him.' Sam sighed.

A couple of minutes went by and Callen was the one breaking the silence.

'Sam?'

'Yeah?'

'You know what you talked to me about….feeling bad for saying all those things to Deeks. You told me you were just kidding but you thought you might had crossed the line?' Callen started.

'Yes, I remember talking about that with you in the hospital.'

'I think you should tell him.'

'Tell him what G?'

'That you regret saying those things and thank him for being so strong for you and Michelle.'

After that moment, they didn't talk much about Deeks, only the usual briefing. That morning, Sam decided to go to Deeks' place after work to talk to him.

xxxxx

The light illuminated the room and she opened her eyes, due to the clarity, to see a sweaty Deeks sleeping in her arms. He looked so peaceful though and Kensi didn't want to wake him up right away since it was only 7am and it had been a rough night.

The sun was hitting his face and his blonde locks. She looked at him. She could see all of his scars, not just the ones that he had after the surgery, but the ones made by Sidorov as well. She stared at him for a moment, she could only imagine what he had been through those hours before their rescue.

She tried to get up so she could go to the bathroom and take a shower, but as soon as she started moving, she heard a voice mumbling, 'Thank you' Deeks said.

'Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up…I mean you looked so peaceful and-' She stumbled on her words.

'It's fine, I wasn't sleeping anyway..' He cut her off.

'But…thanks for what?'

'Uh-you know… Being here for me last night, thanks for bringing me back to reality and thanks for staying.' He said finally.

'Oh-uh..That's fine. I'm your partner, I always have your back.' She showed him a crooked smile when she finally got up.

xxxxx

Michelle woke up to an empty bed. She got up quietly and she knew exactly where to go. She opened the door to the backyard and there he was. She approached him and he turned around with a weak smile.

'Hey there cowboy,' she greeted kissing him lightly. 'why are you here so early?'

'Thinking.'

'About what?'

'Deeks. Today is my first day back on the field and he's going to stay on desk duty for now.'

'Why are you so worried?' She asked.

'I don't know how he feels, you know…Three months ago I didn't really care about him but now I feel like I owe him our lives.' Sam blurted out.

'Are you going to talk to him about it?'

'Tonight.' He stated.

'I'm glad you will.' She smiled and kissed him again. 'Well, let's get ready. I'll call the kids. Take care of breakfast.'

As she walked away, the only thing Sam could think about was how thankful he was to Deeks and how badly he needed to apologize to him for all the trouble he caused him.

xxxxx

**So, what do you think? Can you help me improving it?**

**Thanks!**

**-Rita**


	2. You're Back

**Hey guys! **

**So, for this chapter I needed to look into some things about the Navy and those sorts of things and I don't know if they are accurate but I tried my best.**

**About this one: before I make a flashback I wanted to introduce some more characters and I felt like this was perfect timing.**

**One more thing, thanks for the reviews and the follows/favs, that means a lot to me.**

**-Rita **

Chapter 2 – You're Back

'Morning guys!', Kensi and Deeks said walking into the office.

'Deeks, so glad you're back too.', a familiar voice approached them.

'Nate? What are you doing here?' Kensi asked turning around and pulling Nate into a warm hug.

'You know, the usual, Hetty called me for a case so here I am.' Nate explained pulling back and shaking Deeks' hand.

'Yeah Nate, now tell us why are you really here?' Callen asked standing up and walking towards them and greet Nate.

'Uh-I-,' Nate's eyes locked on Callen and then on Deeks and Sam and back on Callen 'I'm here to-' He was interrupted by Eric's whistle. All of then turned their attention to Eric.

'Guys, we got a case!' He called and then he saw Nate. 'What's up Nate?' He asked smiling.

'You'll still tell us why buddy' Sam said with a smirk on his face taping Nate's shoulder.

They all made their way upstairs quickly leaving a relieved Nate behind them.

XXXXX

'Alright, now that we're all here-,' Hetty said glancing Nate '-run it Eric.'

Eric played a video that showed the abduction of a man in the middle of the night that had been recorded on a smartphone and posted online.

'This is lieutenant James Wright.' Nell started. 'He's a former Navy Officer who came back from his last tour in Iraq 3 years ago.'

'He was about to testify on the trial against Cyrus Russell, an arms dealer who is the prime suspect in the murders of Sarah Johnson and Kevin Martin.' Eric continued, showing Cyrus' photo along with Sarah's and Kevin's. 'These two were volunteers who worked with Wright downtown at Sunrise for Everyone, an organization where the volunteers help homeless people in LA find a shelter to sleep through the night.' He said showing a picture of the organization's focus where they could see James, Sarah and Kevin.

'Ms. Johnson and Mr. Martin were also former Navy officers who served with Mr. Wright in Iraq. Both of them were 2nd lieutenants. They were found dead 6 months ago and showed signs of fight. They had been reported missing by their families 2 weeks before and when their bodies were found, CID suspected they had been abducted, which explained the signs of fight, but no one seems to understand why they had been abducted and who would do that. After 3 months of investigation, Cyrus Russell's name appeared. His trail was supposed to due next week and lieutenant James Wright was the last witness.' Hetty added.

XXXXX

'Okay, so Sam and I will talk to Russell. Kensi, you're coming with us, we might need you to take care of this guy.' Callen said. Kensi smiled and looked at Deeks. He seemed sad for having to stay at the office while she was in the field.

Deeks sat behind his desk, trying to concentrate on his paperwork but his mind kept wondering if Kensi would be okay around Russell.

Cyrus Russell was a member of a Mexican cartel. He's 28 years old tattooed guy who had been arrested several times for robbery and drug dealing in his teenage years. And now he was going to be judged for murder.

Deeks' thoughts were interjected when Nate entered the bullpen. 'Deeks, weren't you cleared to go to the field yet?' He asked, trying to look impressed and to avoid what he was there to talk about. 'How long have you been back to work? You know 3 months ago I came right after you two were saved but then Hetty needed me somewhere else.' Nate explained.

'This is actually my first day back. Kensi told me you were there at the hospital visiting us but I don't remember seeing you there.' Deeks said trying not to let his thoughts go back to those days and moving his eyes back down to his paperwork.

'Yeah, I came back for a week and then I was needed in Yemen for a small task. I came back yesterday, when Hetty called me to...' He stopped himself when he realized he was about to blurt out the real reason he had came back.

'To what Nate?' He lifted his eyes from his paperwork. Deeks knew where this was heading. Nate was obviously here because of him. _Damn it, _he thought, _I told Hetty I was just fine without a psychologist._

'I presume you already know what I'm here for.' Nate said when he saw Deeks' eyes fulfilled with anger.

'Yeah...I know now.' Deeks quickly said and looked down at his papers, for good this time.

'So...Do you wanna tal-' Nate was interrupted by a wave of Deeks' hand, clearly not wanting to talk about **_anything._**

_I'll have a nice talk with Hetty tomorrow. _Deeks thought to himself.

XXXXX

'Hey Kens, are going to pass by Deeks' place?' Sam asked when they were packing their things at the bullpen.

'I wasn't going to but...why?' Kensi answered with curiosity.

'I need to talk to him but I don't know how he would feel about me waiting in his doorstep wanting to talk to him...I mean, maybe if could go with me, you could help me...You could say you wanted to take Monty for a walk or something.' He explained.

'Sure, I think he would like to talk after Nate's attempt on talking to him.' She said and they both headed out of the building.

XXXXX

After finishing _all_ his paperwork - which sounded crazy - Deeks had gone home as soon as he could. He didn't even mind asking how the interrogation had gone but their faces could tell him it had been a hard one.

Already at home, he was making dinner when someone knocked at his door and Monty ran to the door and started barking. He had his earphones on and the music was really loud, lost in his thoughts. Monty barked again and he turned around and saw his dog standing behind the door, his tail flipping from left to right.

He walked towards the door and he was pretty surprised when he opened it. 'Hey Deeks.' Sam and Kensi were at his door. **_Sam_** and Kensi. What was he doing there?

'Hey guys, uh-come in... What are you doing here?' Deeks gestured for them to go in.

'I thought Monty would want to go for a walk.' Kensi said - way too quickly - as she patted the dog that was walking around her and Sam.

'I needed a ride home and Kens was thinking about passing by, so...here we are.' Sam stated.

'So guys I'll leave you two while I walk Monty and maybe you can talk or something...' Kensi's voice fading when she walked away.

'I guess that's just you and me then.' Sam said with a strange smile.

'Sam, let's just be honest. Why did you came here?' Deeks asked as he was going back to his dinner. 'By the way, have you had dinner yet? I can prepare dinner for three if you want to stay. I know Kensi will love this.'

'Uh-no, Michelle called me a while ago. She's already making dinner counting with me, but thanks anyway dude.' Sam cleared his throat before taking a deep breath and then he started talking again. 'Hey Deeks, listen man, I came here to-uh-to thank you.' He seamed to stumble on his own words.

'For what?' He asked without bothering to look back. Deeks already thought this was a pretty weird situation, he didn't want to make it worse.

'You know… For being strong for me and Michelle when we were caught. Also, I wanted to apologize for being so rude to you in the past.' Sam sounded so shy saying these words that Deeks felt the need to laugh, but he didn't though.

'Is Sam Hanna going all sentimental on me?' Deeks asked with a smirk, finally turning around and approaching Sam. 'Look man, it's fine. That time there was hard but now everything is fine. I'm much better now.' Deeks lied and Sam knew he was lying. 'I'm glad you and I can "start over".' He smiled, shook Sam's hand and was pulled into a hug that really said "I'm sorry".

They pulled back when they heard the key turning. It was _Kensi_.

XXXXX

**So, what do you think about this chapter guys?**

**I'm thinking about writing the flashback in the next chapter. I don't know, I finished this one really late already and I might start writing the 3****rd**** chapter right away.**

**Send me your thoughts!**

**-Rita**


	3. I'm Here For You

**Hey guys!**

**This time I thought I could go into deeper feelings of the characters. From my point of view, after the Deeks' and Sam's capture, all the relationships are slightly different. I'm not talking about Deeks and Kensi changing completely and starting to say what they feel right away, I'm referring to their realization of what they almost missed out on their relationship/partnership. Although this explanation, if you feel like I'm diverting too much of the original idea of the characters please let me know because that's not my actual goal.**

**Thank you so much for the follows and favorites and keep sending me your reviews please! =)**

**-Rita**

_DISCLAIMER: Pretty sure it still stands._

Chapter 3 – I'm Here For You

Kensi walked in with Monty and the dog ran to his master just to be patted. She looked at both Deeks' and Sam's faces. They looked like they were hiding something. She had only been out for 20 minutes, how would they have time to become so "intimate"? Kensi figured it was none of her damn business.

'Hey, so… Did you talk about anything special? Or anything at all?' She tried, a kind of weird attempt but she did get an answer.

'Yeah, yes! We talked about-uh dinner…' Sam started and exchanged a glare with Deeks. He didn't want to talk about their hug something that now felt…weird at least.

'Oh yes, dinner! I asked Sam, but he has Michelle waiting, so I'll ask you. Do you want to stay for dinner? You really can't deny it since it's your favorite _and _I'm already making more, counting on you. Plus, it's Thursday, nothing happens on Thursday nights' Deeks said with a gentle smile but his eyes…his eyes were telling something else. Something that Kensi was about to find out.

'Uh-yeah, I guess I can stay for dinner.' Kensi shrugged, a crooked smile drawing on her lips. She could feel the awkwardness in the air and so did Sam. So he thought maybe that was a good time to leave.

'Well, I guess I'll just go. Michelle will call any min-' Sam felt his phone buzzing and took it out of his pocket. 'See, I told you.' He picked it up. 'Yes baby, I'm on my way.' He hung up and turned around. 'Well, gotta go. See you guys tomorrow.' And just like that, Sam left Deeks' apartment.

'Uhh didn't he need a ride home?' Deeks asked turning to Kensi, a confused look on his eyes.

She just rolled her eyes and said, 'Deeks, did you really believe in that?' Deeks shook his head smiling and she continued, 'That was just an excuse for him to come here and talk to you.'

'Why didn't he just show up?'

'Because maybe you're not exactly best friends and he didn't know how would you react?' Kensi shrugged.

'Next time he won't be so "afraid" of me, I think.' He smirked at her.

'What do you mean?'

'Nothing special…' He lied, 'He came here to apologize for all the times he had been rude to me and thank me for being there for him and Michelle.' Deeks didn't feel like sharing the **hug part **either. He knew Kensi would mock him all night long and the next day, he would die in Sam's hands. That thought only was enough for him not to say anything.

'I'm glad that you two are like "starting over" your relationship.' She smiled kindly.

'So am I. You know what else I am? Starving! Let's eat?' He winked as he put the food on the table.

XXXXX

'Hey Kens, do want to stay for a movie?' Deeks suggested.

'Do you have ice cream and beer?' She winked as she put the dishes in the sink and sat down again.

'As always!' He said grinning.

'Then movie night it is!' Kensi said, trying to lighten up the mood. She still didn't know what his eyes were telling her.

Kensi was feeling utterly full when she got up. She managed to drag herself to the couch that, even though it was like 5 feet away from her, it seemed to be a really hard thing to do after the 3 plates of food she had eaten.

Deeks got up too and walked to the shelf where his movies were. 'Well, I don't have Titanic_._' He teased. 'Let me see what we have he-'

'I have it in my car, I can go and pick it up if you wan-' She started saying excitedly and as he turned around completely astonished she so hard she could barely breathe. When she caught a breath she continued. 'Did you really think I carry a movie, even Titanic, everywhere I go with me?'

He raised his hands. 'I don't know…You're Kensi Blye, you're not like Hetty but still…you do unexpected things.' He said grinning.

'What do you mean with _unexpected_?' She raised her eyebrow and folded her arms in front of her chest.

'Nothing!' He laughed and turned to the shelf. 'What do you feel aboooout... Some 007?'

'Not today partner.' She denied pretty apace.

'American Pie?'

'Really Deeks?! Are you 15 year-old boy?' She snapped at him but she could help to just smile. 'Come on…something nice.'

'Karate Kid?' He suggested.

'Uhh…No. What about a comedy or a romantic one?'

'Oh well…If that's what agent Blye prefers, I think I may have some nice ones here.' He said playfully. 'So, we have The Notebook or No Strings Attached.' Deeks declared.

Kensi pondered for a moment and the answered. 'The Notebook would be nice.'

'Yeah I knew you liked Ryan Gosling's baby blue eyes just as you love mine.' He started the banter. 'But tell me…you're not going to cry are you?'

'I think you'll be the first one to cry.' She said as she got up to grab their beers and ice-cream.

'Yeah, we'll see about that!' Deeks switched on the tv and sat on the couch with the remote control. 'Kensi hurry, I'm pressing play.'

XXXXX

'Guess I was right after all Shaggy!' The credits were starting to roll and Kensi was looking at Deeks, try as hard as she could not to laugh. Her partner had tears streaming down his face in the end of the movie and she just started laughing.

'Really Fern? That's just … mean, honestly.' He said wiping his tears. 'Hey, I know you cried too.' He said with a smirk.

'I didn't…' She lied, trying not to smile, she would never admit but she did let a couple of tears slide down her face. _How does he know?_ She thought.

'Sorry Kensi, I saw you wiping your tears. Therefore, I was right!' He grinned, but there was something in his eyes…she saw something when he looked into her eyes. He seemed confused but at the same time she felt like he was hiding something. Something about those two days he had been in Sidorov's custody.

Kensi's smile vanished as she turned herself completely to face him. 'Is-uh…Everything alright Deeks?' A concerned look appeared on her face.

'Sure, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be alright?' His own grin was starting to disappear. He wasn't liking to hear those questions, he didn't feel ready to answer them just yet. Eventually, she would have to know what had happened in those two days, _right?_ He asked himself.

'I don't know…Look Deeks I'm just going straight to the point' She took a deep breath. 'Okay…So-uh it's been three months since the whole Sidorov thing… After we rescued you, my only concern was that you and Sam would make a good recover. I never asked you about those two days or about the-uh kiss… But as I said, it has been three months and you're back to work already. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to push you or anything, I'm just saying…If you ever feel like talking, I'm here for you.' She let out all this. Kensi felt much more relieved but when she looked into her partner's eyes, she regretted everything she had just said.

'Uh-Kens I…I'm sorry…' He was shocked. _The kiss._ With all of his worries, his nightmares and everything else, he had completely forgotten the kiss he had planted on her lips just before he got captured.

'No Deeks, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked about that. I-uh better go.' She said and quickly got up, picked up her bag and left.

Deeks was left there on his own. Left alone with his thoughts. He asked himself now if he should've ever kissed her that day. Now the deed was done and he couldn't go back and _"unkiss"_ Kensi. He knew they weren't the same since that kiss. Since he had been tortured. He knew he was pushing her away.

XXXXX

Kensi was still surprised she had said those words back in Deeks' place. She had wanted to ask him about his torture and mainly about the kiss before but she couldn't. Seeing him so ill in the hospital never helped, she never had the courage to ask him about those things. When he was discharged from the hospital, she took him home and had been taking care of him all this time without saying a word. Though he was going to his appointments with the psychologist that Hetty had chosen for him and Sam, Kensi knew he wasn't saying anything concrete. She wanted to help him, but _how? _She just couldn't give up on him. She wouldn't let him fall and leave her…_them_, she thought, _leave them._ Deeks was _not_ Jack.

Kensi walked in her house ten minutes after leaving Deeks'. She felt so tired and at the same time she didn't want to go to sleep. She went to the kitchen to get a beer. When she reached the fridge, she didn't want the beer anymore. She was so confused, she just wanted to be there for Deeks, her partner, the closest of a best friend after her father's death…

After an hour of trying to think straight and put things together, Kensi finally decided to go to bed. It was 2 am and she knew it wouldn't be a quite night.

XXXXX

Deeks had went to bed right after Kensi's departure. It was now 2.30 am and it had been almost two hour since she had left.

He was now in the dark, eyes wide open staring at the city lights behind the bedroom's curtains. Being awake at this hour wasn't a surprise for him. But he simply he couldn't sleep, he knew he wouldn't. Not after Kensi's words.

Yes, Deeks was still thinking about them. He knew she deserved an explanation for the kiss but what was he supposed to tell her? The truth? 'Cause he was almost sure she wouldn't want to hear it. The truth was that he had been madly in love with her for a while now and after Hetty's encouragement with her "Sunshine & Gunpowder" note he had felt brave enough to admit his love. How was he supposed to tell Kensi Blye all this and at the same time not scare her away?

During this three months one of his biggest concerns had been this. This dilemma: He knew h loved her but they both had awful communication skills. Should he tell her or should he just make an excuse?

XXXXX

Kensi was right about a not so quiet night. She stared at the ceiling, blankly. Deeks' words running through her mind. "_I'm sorry", _he had said. What was he sorry about? Did he regret kissing her? Why would she said that to him? "_I'm here for you"_, _really Kensi?_ She punched herself mentally.

Kensi just wished she could understand him. She never seemed to know what he meant. When he talked about them, he'd always say weird things, even more weird than the whole thing about the little mutant ninja assassins. But with that kiss…man, she felt like in that kiss he was saying everything he ever wanted to say and what did she do? She ran away!

_Damn it Blye, get yourself together, try to get some sleep and you'll have time to deal with him tomorrow. Thank God it's Friday!,_ She thought.

**Guys, please review this chapter! I'd really love to know your opinions.**

**Thanks for waiting this days and stay awesome ! ;)**

**-Rita**


	4. I Promise

**Hi guys!**

**I hope you like this chapter. I just wanted to thank you for you support, it's really important for me =)**

**-Rita**

_DISCLAIMER: Still stands._

Chapter 4 – I Promise

_Nice, 6 am!, _He thought sarcastically, _What can I do? Might as well just use the time I have and I really feel like I could use some fresh air._

Deeks got up, he had managed to get some sleep somewhere between 3 and 5 in the morning. After his movie night with Kensi, he felt so bad he couldn't even sleep just thinking about what he had told her or what he _hadn't _told her. _Thank you awesome communication skills!_

The sun was rising and was already starting to light up his bedroom. He looked through the window, he had a perfect view to the beach. _Yes! Good waves, I really need them right now to clear out my head!_, Deeks thought. He went to the cupboard where he kept his surf things and grabbed his favorite wetsuit, dressed it and took his board off the wall.

Before heading to the beach, he drank some coffee that was left from the previous night. Monty was still asleep so he didn't bother taking care of his food at that hour.

When he got to the beach, he noticed he was all alone and it was only 6.10 am. He entered the water, it was cold but it felt really good. He dove in the second wave that passed by him. God that felt great! He hadn't felt like that in a long time. That was his first time back in the water with his board. Sure he had been there after his stay at the hospital but never surfing. _Yeah, this was just what I needed!_

After catching some incredible waves, he was standing in the middle of the ocean waiting for another one when he looked at his watch. 'I guess it's the last one today!' He said to himself. 'It's time to catch some bad guys.'

Deeks got home in two minutes, Monty was already there fully awake waiting for his owner. He took a shower and when he was dressing up he realized it was Friday and he was still going to work and he was still seeing Kensi at work. _Damn it! Why can't I just tell her, it would be a lot easier for I us…I guess. Us? What?_

**XXXXX**

'Morning guys.' Deeks said when he walked in the bullpen. He had his head down, eyes locked on his cell phone but honestly he didn't know why.

'Hey Deeks.' Sam and Callen said in unison.

Deeks felt like there was something missing. The sound of his partner's voice. He then looked at her desk. 'Where is Kensi?' He asked motioning to her empty chair. He looked at his watch, _9.20? Where is Miss Kensi Never-Late Blye?_ He thought.

Both Callen and Sam shrugged. They were about to ask him, he's the one who is her partner.

Before any of them could talk, Hetty called Deeks. 'Mr. Deeks can I please have a moment with you, in my office?' She was standing right behind him with a serious face.

He just nodded and followed her.

**XXXXX**

'Mr. Deeks, I am aware that your conversation with Mr. Getz didn't go so well yesterday.' She was looking at Deeks with her hands folded in front of her.

He stared at his hands, trying to think about the weird talk with Nate. 'Uh-yeah about that, I wanted to talk to you.'

'I'm all hears detective.'

'With all due respect, I had told you I didn't need a psychologist. Not another one.' He said lifting his head so that he could look Hetty in the eyes.

'Well, after the incident with the last one,' Hetty was clearly talking about Dr. Andy Cooper. Deeks had snapped at him when he started asking questions about Kensi. 'I thought Nate could help you, perhaps.'

'I'll tell you again Hetty, I don't need a shrink.'

'Have you talked to anyone about your issues?'

'Uh-well, no…But-' He tried.

'Then you still need help.'

'I'll do anything you want, but don't get me another psychologist. I respect Nate's work but it won't work on me.'

'Maybe you just need a friend…' Hetty showed him a little grin. She knew he had understood who she was talking about.

'Hey Deeks, we're heading to the gym. Wanna come?' He heard Callen's voice and when he turned around, he saw Kensi. He smiled knowing she was fine.

Deeks looked back at Hetty as if to ask her permission to get up. She simply nodded and when he was already up she said, 'Oh and Mr. Deeks?'

He turned around. 'Yes?'

'You are cleared to go back to the field. You can thank your very good friend, Mr. Getz.' She smiled.

'Thanks Hetty.' He said as he turned around and started walking faster to the gym. He was actually happy to be back and to have a chance to talk to Kensi in a stakeout or something.

**XXXXX**

Kensi and Callen were training their boxing skills and Sam was sitting on the gym bench when Deeks came in from the locker room. He sat next to Sam and watched while Kensi and Callen fought.

'Hit him with your right Kens!' Sam shouted watching his partner shirking from Kensi's punch.

'I thought you were _my_ partner!' Callen shouted back.

'Yeah I am, that's why I'm helping you train her. Just in case!' He answered winking and laughing.

'How long have they been fighting like this?' Deeks finally asked. His teammates looked like they had been there for hours.

'10 minutes or so. We showed her some new technical moves and they have been practicing since then.'

'Great! Now I'm really not messing with her, ever again!' He said laughing too.

'I wouldn't think about that either.' Sam said and his grin became a serious gaze. 'What did she want with you? Hetty?' There was a mix of concern and curiosity in his eyes.

'Oh she wanted to talk about my conversation with Nate.' He said briefly.

'What about it?' Sam asked, now completely focused on his conversation with Deeks rather than Kensi and Callen's workout.

'She said she brought him back so we could talk since the last psychologist wasn't so happy with my behavior. After that I told her I didn't need one but now she called Nate and said maybe I should talk to him because we already know each other.' He explained.

'You know I never go to psychologists right?' Sam started. 'The first times I experienced this kind of trauma I tried but it never helped.'

'Then what do you do?' Deeks asked, he was almost begging for an option. 'Hetty said I could try talking to a friend…'

'The first times I had buddies, SEALs. But then I met Michelle and I knew she was the one I could trust. When I suffered a trauma like this after we got married, she was always there for me, and even when I tried to push her away, she'd always come back…I guess that's what Hetty meant by _friend...'_

'Morning Deeks,' his partner's warm voice interrupted their talk, 'Callen's finished! Who's next?' She teased.

'Hey Kens.' He said sweetly. They had clearly been caught by surprise when she interrupted them.

'What were you talking about? Did I interrupt something?' She asked awkwardly.

'I was just saying Sam here, that I've been cleared to go back to the field!' Deeks said and smiled.

She was completely astonished. And so were Callen and Sam.

'Congrats man!' Callen was the first to break silence smiling and pulling him into a hug.

Sam shook his hand and pulled him into a quick hug and said just loud enough for Deeks to hear, 'You didn't have to lie to _her _about or conversation.'

'Thanks!' Deeks smiled genuinely.

'That's great to hear Deeks! Guys, sorry to interrupt but we have an update on the case.' Nell was standing in the gym's entrance.

She turned around and headed to OPS. Callen and Sam went to the locker room to get changed. Kensi stood there watching as Deeks got up and started walking to OPS.

'I'm glad.' She said.

It was enough for him to turn around and come back to her side. 'Me too.' He smiled.

'When did you know?'

'When I was talking to Hetty this morning.' He said and took a deep breath. 'I-uh…wanted to…talk to you.' He sighed. That felt like the hardest thing to do at that moment.

'Uh-maybe later, we have to-uh catch up with them.' She said and headed out to the locker room leaving a knocked out Deeks who went to OPS.

**XXXXX**

'We were able to track down Valerie Taylor. She's 27 and she's James Wright's girlfriend. ' Eric started showing a driver's license of a woman with green eyes and a long blonde hair.

'Valerie grew up here in Los Angeles, has never been arrested and she met Lt. Wright 2 years ago.' Nell said. 'In this exact moment she is at her parents' house, the address is already on your phones.'

'Kens, Deeks, go talk to the girl. Sam and I will take a look at Wright's house.' Callen said.

**XXXXX**

'Can we talk now? The comms are off…there's no one to hear.' Deeks insisted when they got in Kensi's car.

'We have work to do Deeks…' She sighed opting by giving him an excuse.

**XXXXX**

'Valerie is pretty shaken up. She says the last time she saw James was 3 days ago and he was really nervous about the Cyrus' trial. Also, she had noticed that in the last few weeks James was getting paranoiac. He'd always thought he was being followed by two men.' Kensi told Callen and Sam when they entered the bullpen.

'We asked Eric and Nell to watch the tapes of the surveillance cameras from Wright's neighborhood to see if anyone looked suspicious. They discovered these two guys.' Deeks held his tablet and showed them the photos of two Mexican men, both member's of a Mexican cartel, the same as Cyrus Russell.

'Oscar and Miguel Diaz, relatives?' Sam asked.

'Uh-yes, they're brothers and Russell's cousins.' Deeks replied. 'Any luck with Wright's apartment?'

'Kinda…when we got there, his house was completely upside down but there was a note on his fridge.' Callen gave Kensi a little paper where they could read:

_'If you want Lt. James Wright alive, Cyrus Russell must be released.'_

'And you didn't find anything else?' She asked.

'No, nothing suspicious about Lt. Wright that we can relate to his abduction…' Callen was clearly disappointed thinking about the little time they had to save James Wright.

'I guess were working this weekend!' Sam gave them a half-smile trying to lighten up the mood as the team started to get ready to go home.

**XXXXX **

_You know you can't ignore him forever right? Come on Blye, give him a chance, you don't know what he has to say…_, She thought as she was cleaning her father's weapon. That always seemed to calm her down.

'How about a Top Model marathon? Yeah that we'll be good.' Kensi said as she sat in her couch and turned on the TV.

**XXXXX**

'Monty, do you think she'll open her door for me?' He asked his dog who was looking at Deeks like he was saying they were going for a walk. 'She will right? I mean…she can't be _that _mad…' He wondered, she was unpredictable but…

'Well Monty, I'm sure I won't take long…probably she'll just slam the door right in my face. Good bye buddy, wish me luck!' And he headed out praying she would at least listen to what he had to say.

**XXXXX**

Kensi was already half-asleep when she heard a knock on the door. It was almost 11 pm, who might be?

She wasn't so surprised when she opened the door and there he was, her shaggy partner looking at her so angelic. 'You're aware of what time it is, right Deeks?'

He nodded. 'I just came here to tell you something. I just want-'

'Don't. Please, not today. I promise I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay, but I won't forget that promise.' He showed a crooked smile. 'Then I'll just ask: are you mad about what I said yesterday?' _What a jerk Deeks! Couldn't you be direct without being exaggerated? _He honestly wanted to punch himself.

'Uh- no…It's fine I understand…' She lied. 'So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Yeah, go get some sleep. Goodnight Kens.'

'Night Deeks.' And she closed the door. She turned around and let herself slide down her front door. Why couldn't she just let him talk? Well, at least now she knew when they were going to talk.

'I have to get some sleep, prepare myself for the long day I'll have tomorrow. She sighed and went to her bedroom after tidying the living room.

As she laid down, a single teardrop slid down her face.

**XXXXX**

Deeks went back home and Monty was still awake. 'Hey buddy…I guess lucky is not on our side…for now.' He sighed and headed to his bedroom.

He laid down on his back. There, in the dark, he kept staring at the ceiling for a while. He turned to his left side and something happened.

Just like Kensi, a tear streamed down his face. He just didn't know it had happened to her as well.

**XXXXX**

Although the bitter taste of their current relationship, both of them slept through the entire night until sunrise.

They couldn't even imagine what was waiting for them the next day…

**XXXXX**

**I guess I should tell that coming up is the flashback! I hope you liked this one and there will be more developments about Densi =)**

**I huge 'thank you' to the ones who are still reading this story, please review it, I'd really love to know what you think about it!**

**I'll try to update as soon as I can. 'Til then, stay awesome ;)**


	5. I'll Find You - Part I

_DISCLAIMER: Still stands._

Chapter 5 – I'll Find You – Part I

**_3 months ago…_**

'Wow…We should not mention that to Sam like…ever.' Deeks said completely astonished after seeing Michelle kiss Sidorov. They were crouched behind a bush doing surveillance in Sidorov's house.

'It's not like she had a choice. She's protecting her cover.' Kensi stated.

'Oh that's interesting...Kinda like me when I was undercover with Monica?' He teased as they saw Michelle get in the car.

'Undercover? Or under **_the_**covers?' She lifted her eyebrow.

'And there it is again, little green eyed monster makes an appearance!'

'What does…? What-uh…What does that mean?' Kensi asked completely confused.

'Nothing…It means nothing.' Put his binoculars back on to see Michelle leaving.

'Like I said: poor communication skills.' She got up, clearly mad, and headed to her motorcycle. She was supposed to follow Michelle. 'I never ever ever know what the hell you're talking about because you never say you mean!' She sat on the motorcycle. He had gotten up from his crouching position and was now following her. 'It's so frustrating! It's like working with a 14-'

And then it happened. He approached her and caught her by surprise putting his hand on her cheek and shutting her up with a kiss. A simple and innocent kiss and yet so meaningful.

He just stood there for 2 or 3 seconds tasting her lips. Everything he could never say before, he kinda said it with that kiss. He didn't even know how he had managed to do that! Maybe it was Hetty's note…Well, Kensi had asked earlier for him to say something he actually meant…

And then he pulled back. He felt like she was begging for more when he saw in her eyes a mix of hope, confusion and fear as well. Her braided hair was floating with the wind just as his blonde locks. They were just looking each other in the eyes. Neither of them was able to say a word until…

'How's that for communication?' He broke the silence never breaking eye contact. By saying that she was almost that was Deeks trying to challenge her. Almost like he was saying: _I dare you to tell me you didn't want this to happen Kensi Blye._

She was absolutely speechless. The only thing she could do was keep looking at him and blink for what seemed a hundred times.

Deeks stepped back, giving her some time to think so he clear his head too. He kept looking at her. _Just say something Kens, please!_, he wanted to scream but he couldn't.

Kensi watched as he stepped back, agape. _Why did he do this? _She looked away from him and directed her eyes to the road down the hill. _What do I do now?, _she was starting to panic.

'I gotta stay with Michelle.' She said promptly.

He looked at her, his eyes begging for her not to leave. _Incredible Deeks! You meet a girl, you fall in love with her, wait wait wait! FALL IN LOVE?! Who said anything about love? _He watched her go and after that he came back to his crouching position. _Yeah, forget it…it's love and you can't deny! Oh well again: you meet a girl, you fall in love with her, for once you try to make things the way they should, but a man can only tolerate it 'til some time, you try to make move and what did you do? You scared her away! She ran…Damn it!. _Still, after all this induction he lifted his eyebrows. _Her lips were just as soft as they were in the first time._

**XXXXX**

'Kensi? Kensi! Are you with Michelle?' Eric was trying to communicate with Kensi but she was a _little _busy trying to save Sam's wife.

In OPS, Nell and Eric were trying inform Kensi and Michelle about Deeks and Sam's capture but unsuccessfully. They heard a racket followed by two women with heavy breath. They both sighed and Eric tried again, 'Kensi? Are you alright?'

'Yes Eric, Michelle is fine, she just needs to breathe.'

'Kens?' Nell looked at Eric. They already knew what Janvier had done but Kensi and Michelle didn't. 'Hetty wants you both in the boatshed. ASAP.'

'Copy that!' Kensi turned off her comm. She turned to Michelle. 'Can you drive? We need to get to the boatshed.'

'Yeah I'm fine Kensi. Thanks.' And it hit her. 'Kensi, Sidorov sent those women here with me to finish me. You think we've been made?' A wave of shock spread down her face.

Kensi's eyes wined at that thought. 'Let's not think the worst right now, okay?' She tried to calm Michelle. 'I'm sure they're in the boatshed with Hetty.'

Her mind drifted back to Deeks. That kiss. _Damn,_ she just couldn't get him off of her mind.

**XXXXX**

As soon as they entered the boatshed, a lump formed in Kensi's throat. Michelle's predictions might have been right after all. 'Where is Deeks and Sam? And Callen?' She asked Hetty. The little woman was talking with Granger. She turned around and the look on her eyes…Kensi wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.

'Ms. Blye, Mrs. Hanna, I'm afraid I have bad news.' Hetty started. She took a deep breath. 'After you left Sidorov's residence we lost contact with Mr. Hanna. Mr. Deeks informed us he was in a hardship and moments later we lost contact with him too.'

'Where are they now?' Michelle insisted, panicking.

'Currently, we don't know. Mr. Callen is in the interrogation room.' She tilted her head to the big monitor in the room that showed Callen pacing back and forth shaking his head. 'When I arrived he was bashing Janvier's face as hard as he could.' The expression in Hetty's face was true concern.

'Where's Janvier now?' Kensi asked.

'Upstairs. With two LAPD officers.' Hetty looked at Kensi, 'Maybe you should go talk to Mr. Callen. Michelle?' She said looking at Michelle this time, 'Can I talk to you for a moment?'

**XXXXX**

Kensi entered the room and Callen immediately looked at her, his eyes were glittering. What was that? Tears? She was shocked when she saw his eyes. 'Callen what's going on?' She asked fearfully. He looked so angry and frustrated at the same time. 'Hetty said you were beating up Janvier when she got here.' She said after turning off the camera and the mike.

Callen motioned to one of the chairs in the room. They both sat down and she looked at him, eyes questioning him desperately. Callen took a deep breath, he knew what he was about to say was going to upset her. Really, _upset _was the least it would do to Kensi. It would pull the rug under her feet… 'Kens,' he sighed, 'Janvier gave Sam up.' He paused and looked her in the eyes.

She widened her eyes. 'What about Deeks?' Her voice trembling as she said his name.

'He told Eric and Nell that Sam was in trouble and Deeks must have gone there to help him. When I got there they had left. Eric and Nell lost all contact with Sam and Deeks and right now they're trying to track them but they don't know where they might be.' Callen saw tears forming in Kensi's eyes and starting to slide down her face. Kensi looked down, she couldn't take that. Deeks had been captured. He took her hand in his, 'Kens, look at me…' He asked and she looked up. Mismatched eyes flooded in tears that she wasn't able to control. 'Sidorov needs them alive. He's trying to make a deal. We have to find a way to turn it around, save Sam and Deeks, lock Sidorov up forever and deactivate the nukes.' She just nodded as she whipped her tears. 'But listen to me, I need you and Michelle to be completely focused. Can you do that for me?' For some reason, Callen seemed a lot more sympathetic with his team mate.

'Yes. I think I just need a minute to get myself together.' Kensi said as she got up.

She was heading to the door when he stopped her. 'Stay Kens, I need to check on Michelle and talk to Eric.' Callen open the door and left.

Kensi was left there with her thoughts. _Get yourself together Blye. For Deeks. You have to save him, otherwise he'll never know how you feel. _A single tear fell on the floor and took a deep breath and said, 'I'll find you.'

**XXXXX **

**_Meanwhile outside…_**

'Where are they?' Michelle asked as soon as she guaranteed they were alone. 'Tell me the whole truth Hetty, please.'

'Michelle, during the meeting, Janvier tipped off Sidorov about Sam. After you left with the Russian girls we lost contact with him. Mr. Deeks went there to save him but we soon lost contact with him too. We believe Sidorov has captured them but Ms. Jones and Mr. Beale are trying to track them.' Hetty was honest as she had been told. She could tell Michelle was trying to hold back her tears.

'What do we do now? I'm helping you with everything that I can.' Michelle stated taking a deep breath.

'Assistant-Director Granger will be staying here with the LAPD and Janvier. The four of us will head back to OPS center. We need to find a way to rescue Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks.' Hetty sighed.

They both turned around when Callen approached them. 'Mr. Callen, have you told Kensi?'

He nodded, 'Yeah, she just needed a minute. Are you okay Michelle?'

'I'll be better once we find them.' She said softly.

Kensi appeared outside 2 minutes later. 'I'm ready.', was the only thing she said and headed to her motorcycle and took off.

Callen, Hetty and Michelle headed to their cars and took off behind Kensi.

**XXXXX**

**_Day 1: 7.00 pm_**

'Did you find anything yet Eric?' Callen asked when they got to OPS.

'No, but we're looking at all surveillance cameras in the nearest streets to Sidorov's house.' He answered.

'Mr. Beale?' Hetty spoke up and all eyes turned to her. She thought about a solution for some time. 'Make a background search on everyone involved with Sidorov.'

'What are you thinking Hetty?' Callen lifted his eyebrow, nobody seemed to understand what she was trying to do.

'If Sidorov wants to keep Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks alive, he has them as hostages. For that, he needs a shelter, a shed or a warehouse… By doing that research we might find an address. Luckily, we'll find Agent Hanna and Detective Deeks sooner.' Hetty explained.

'Great idea! I'll start with Sidorov and his associates.' Eric said turning his chair and typing in the keyboard.

'Yes, and then check the Russian girls and Janvier.' She ordered.

**XXXXX**

**Day 1: 8.00 pm**

Walking downstairs, Michelle, Callen and Kensi followed Hetty to her office. 'What do we do now? We can't just sit around here.' Kensi was starting to panic. She needed to keep calm, but the thought of Deeks being injured or…._dead_, was consuming her.

'Now, we wait. Kensi, calm down. There's nothing we can do right now.' Callen tried.

'Go home, all of you. I stay here with Ms. Jones and Mr. Beale. If they find anything, we'll call right away.' Hetty said as she sat in her chair. 'And please, try to rest. Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks need us all on top of our games.' She said with a sympathetic smile.

Kensi went to the bullpen to grab her things and after that she got ready to leave. 'Call me as soon as you know something, please.' She almost begged Hetty.

**XXXXX**

**Day 1: 10.00 pm**

Kensi was sitting on her dinner table cleaning her father's rifle. It always helped her when she needed to meditate about something. This time though…she felt like cleaning that weapon wasn't enough, she almost wanted to use it for when they catch Sidorov. But she knew she couldn't.

When she finished, no one in OPS had called her yet so she decided to do what Hetty had told her, _please, try to rest, _she had told them.

She stored her father's rifle and headed to the bedroom.

**XXXXX**

**Day 1: 11.30 pm**

Kensi had been tossing and turning in her bed for almost two hours now. Not because of nightmares, she simply couldn't fall asleep. That was killing her!

She couldn't sleep because there was only one thing on her mind: Deeks. Deeks _and _Sam, _of course…_ Who was she kidding? Sam hadn't crossed her mind a single time that night. Not to get her wrong, she was worried about Sam too, but right now...Kensi had some other concerns. Mostly related to Deeks.

She was now staring at the ceiling, in the dark of her cold room. Kensi was trying to recap that day. It seemed unbelievable. It all started as a normal day of work but then…Deeks kissed her. He _actually _kissed her on the lips. And she had longed for more but he pulled away and teased her asking how that was for communication. _How could he do that to me? And now I'll never an opportunity to answer him. Don't you dare think like that Kensi Marie Blye! He's not dead, don't even think like he's not here anymore. _Tears started to slide down her face as the thought of a possible dead Deeks came to her mind. She definitely needed to put herself together. For him…_I mean them, _she thought.

Kensi whipped her tears and changed her position, putting her stomach down. She tried to think about the happy Deeks she knew. His smile, his jokes, his flirtations…his warming hugs. Everything that made her fall in love with him. _Wait, what? Fall in love?! Oh well…there is no lie in that actually…It seems like I really am in love with Deeks. _With this realization, Kensi closed her eyes and even though it would be a hard day, she knew she had to find him, now more than ever. He needed to know how she felt. She would find him, even if it was the last thing she'd do.

**XXXXX**

**Hey guys!**

**I hope I didn't let you down with this part of the flashback. I know this is kind of a cliffhanger but I believe this is the only one I'll have to do otherwise the story wouldn't be that funny :p**

**I already have the next three chapters planned and I wasn't supposed to upload this one today but I felt like I owed you that for sticking with this story of mine. Next week: ****_I'll Find You - Part II_**

**Last thing: I'm putting this one here today because next 4 days are going to be crazy – Beach Day + Birthday Party + The Color Run in Lisboa and Family Day on Sunday – so probably I wouldn't be able to update the story.**

**Please leave your thoughts about the flashback !**

**"Feel Awesome! Be Awesome!"**

**-Rita**


	6. I'll Find You - Part II

**_Last Chapter_**

_Kensi whipped her tears and changed her position, putting her stomach down. She tried to think about the happy Deeks she knew. His smile, his jokes, his flirtations…his warming hugs. Everything that made her fall in love with him. Wait, what? Fall in love?! Oh well…there is no lie in that actually…It seems like I really am in love with Deeks. With this realization, Kensi closed her eyes and even though it would be a hard day, she knew she had to find him, now more than ever. He needed to know how she felt. She would find him, even if it was the last thing she'd do._

Chapter 6 – I'll Find You – Part II

**_Day 2: 2.00 am_**

_'Deeks? Deeks! Can you open your eyes for me, please?' Kensi asked as Eric called 911 for two ambulances from OPS._

_Deeks opened his eyes just a little. His body was completely covered in blood, his clothes had been torn. Kensi held him in her arms and was trying to keep him awake until the paramedics' arrival. _

_'Kens…' His voice a husky whisper, she could barely understand what he was saying due to things they had done to his face. 'You're here, you found us…'_

_'Yes Deeks, we did. And as soon as the paramedics come, they'll take you to a hospital and you'll be fine. You have to fight, Deeks!' She said desperately. _

_'Kensi I don't know if I will make it through this…'_

_'You can Deeks, I'm here for you. I won't leave. Fight.' His eyes were starting to close again. 'Deeks stay with me, you'll be fine, I promise.' A lump formed in her throat as she made that promise._

_'But I feel so sleepy Fern. Let me just close my eyes for a-'_

_'No! No Deeks! You have to stay awake until they take you to the hospital.'_

_He fought to keep his eyes open so he could tell her one last thing. 'Kens…I just want you to know this. And don't say anything until I'm finished ' She looked him in the eyes and nodded. Her eyes full of hope and his full of pain. 'If I don't wake up, I want you to know that I lo-' His eyes fully closed now._

_'Deeks? Deeks! Wake up Deeks! Stay with me partner!' She started crying. 'Deeks, please…wake up! What do you want me to know?'_

_There was no answer…'Deeks? Deeks don't love me! Don't die on me please!'_

'No, Deeks!' Kensi opened her eyes. She was in her bedroom all alone. It all had been _just _a nightmare, but it felt so real… Now she couldn't go back to sleep. The thought of Deeks dying in her arms was the scariest thing in her life nowadays.

Kensi had woken up soaked in sweat from tossing and turning ever since she had gone to bed. She decided to take a shower to clear her head and after that she would go back to the office to help Eric and Nell with everything she could.

**_Day 2: 3.00 am_**

Kensi was now fully clothed and sitting on her couch eating from her cereal bowl. Suddenly she felt her phone vibrate in her jeans. It was Eric.

'Hey Eric, did you find something?' She asked rather anxiously.

_'Hey, we have an address…But it's due to something more. Kens, you should come here to check it out…' _Eric informed.

Kensi didn't bother to answer, hung up, grabbed her jacket and car keys and ran to the door.

**_Day 2: 3.30 am_**

When Kensi arrived at the office, Eric and Nell were in OPS with Hetty and Michelle. They were waiting for Callen. 'Hey guys…' She greeted sadly. 'Where's Callen?'

They looked at her as she walked in OPS. 'Oh...Hi Kens.' Nell said. 'He should be arriving any-'

'Talking about me?' Callen rushed to OPS and everyone turned around. 'Hi. What did you find guys?'

'During our background search on the Russian girls, we found a little house in Venice. An hour and a half ago we detected a video feed coming from that address directly to Michelle's e-mail account as Quinn. We also found out that the house had been provided to one of the girls by the one and only…Isaak Sidorov.' Eric explained with a rather less enthusiastic voice that was really his manner.

'Do you have the video?' Michelle asked immediately.

'Yes…I don't know if you're ready to-' Eric hesitated.

'Show us Eric, we need to see it if it'll help us…and them.' Kensi interrupted.

Eric did as he was told, pulled up a video and pressed play. Everyone was completely shocked when they saw how the video started.

_'Sidorov wants to know if you're a agent, Quinn…He says he's going to kill us because we're agents and partners who are trying to catch him when he sells the nukes.' _Sam appeared on the screen, in a room full of light that was really creepy, and he sounded really desperate. Back in OPS everybody was having a hard time understanding him as they could see his struggle just to say all of that. He didn't seem to be that much bruised, not on the outside at least… He did appear to be rather blubber, which made it very suspicious what they had done to him. They all thought about him being electrocuted. Michelle shed a tear but didn't move, Kensi and Callen felt really frustrated to see their teammate and partner like that.

_'We already told him we don't even know each other but he says a trusted source alerted him that David Forman is an agent. I mean…I'm just a cop. He has made us hostages until he knows if it is or not safe to sell the nukes.' _The screen was now focused on a darker room that looked like a storage. When the team heard the new men's voice they were completely shocked. Deeks appeared before them rather tired and bruised. His voice was even harder to understand than Sam's. His mouth was soaked in blood and his jaw swollen. A wound near his eye and a pretty deep cut on his forehead.

Kensi looked at him and let out a gasp. Eric clicked pause. Everyone else seemed rather sad when they saw Kensi's eyes flooded with tears. As tears started to slide down her face she managed to tell them, 'I'm sorry guys…I..I can't be here..uh-right now' , and ran out of OPS down to the bullpen. They figured she needed a little time to herself so they let her go.

**_Day 2: 4.15 am_**

**_In the bullpen…_**

_Oh my God! Why did I let him go? How did they torture him like that? _Kensi's thoughts were consuming her as she kept crying compulsively. 'Keep it together, he needs you now more than ever!',she kept saying to herself as she paced back and forth in the bullpen, breathing in and breathing out.

**_Meanwhile in OPS…_**

When Kensi left, Callen had asked Eric to press play once again.

'This is where the video ends.' Eric informed. 'We're trying to find the address to the video and not just the IP from the e-mail.'

'Find it. ASAP Eric.' Callen stated. ' I'm gonna check on Kensi…' He looked at Hetty and she nodded. He started to walk out of OPS but Nell interrupted him,

'Let me do that Callen.'

'What?'

'I'll check on her…' And Nell headed downstairs to the bullpen.

**_Day 2: 4.30 am_**

**_Bullpen…_**

Kensi was now sitting at her desk with her head between her hands and her elbows on the table. She was so consumed by her thoughts she didn't realize Nell was standing right in front of her.

'Are you okay Kens…?' Nell put her hand on Kensi's shoulder.

'Uh-I'm sorry…what?' Kensi woke up from her trance when she felt Nell's hand. 'Sorry Nell…I was-uh-'

'Deep in your thoughts?'

'Exactly…' Kensi nodded.

'Are you okay Kens…?' Nell asked again.

_Of course not! I've been in love with Deeks for a while and as far as I'm concerned so is he, but none of us had ever care to admit until he kissed me like…yesterday and now he has been captured and tortured and I don't know if we'll find them alive. So my answer is no, I'm not okay…_

'I'm fine Nell…' She lied a big fat lie and Nell looked at her raising an eyebrow in disbelief with a _try-again_ look on her face.

'Okay…I'm really worried about Deeks..-_them!'_ She corrected herself.

'I would be really worried too if Eric was in their place… Primarily if right before being captured he had shown his lov-' Nell interrupted herself when she realized who she was talking to.

Kensi lifted her head as her teary eyes grew wider and wider. 'What did you say?' Now she was the one raising her eyebrows.

Nell looked away so she didn't have to face Kensi. 'Nothing…' She shrugged.

Kensi wasn't buying it though. 'Nell…' She insisted. 'What were going to say?'

'What I was going to say was that I would be worried too if it was Eric instead of Deeks or Sam.' She tried.

'And…?'

'Fine! I would be even more worried if right before being captured he had shown his love for me…'

'What do you mean?' Kensi asked, shocked and looked at Nell with her _are-you-telling-me-what-I-think-you're-telling _look.

'Come on Kensi, you know exactly what I mean…' And Nell looked back at Kensi with a _yes-I-know-your-big-secret _look in her eyes.

'How…How do you uh-know?'

Nell pointed to her ear. 'You were doing surveillance remember? Your comms were on.' A crooked smile appeared on her face. 'When we heard you guys, Hetty was upstairs too. I could see on the corner of my eye, she had a little smile forming in her lips just like me and Eric.'

'Oh…yeah the comms.' Kensi shook her head and smiled remembering Deeks' kiss as she whipped her tears. She didn't seem to care about the fact that Hetty was listening to them.

Kensi got up from her chair and walked to the bullpen entrance. 'Did you find anything useful in that video?'

Nell caught up with her and smiled. Kensi wasn't losing it, at least not when she was needed. 'No, that was where the video ended.'

'Do we have a plan yet?'

'No, they're waiting for us to discuss it.'

**_Day 2: 6.00 am_**

**_OPS…_**

Eric, Nell, Callen, Kensi and Michelle had been almost screaming at each other for an hour and no agreement had been reached.

At one point Hetty, who had been downstairs talking to Granger and returned, got tired of watching this bustle. 'Enough, all of you!' Everyone shut up and turned around to face an angry Hetty. 'You're a team. Even if the people you have to save are you're teammates, you need to act like one.'

They all nodded, she was completely right.

'What should we do then?' Callen asked Hetty.

They heard an electronic noise. It was Eric's computer.

'I found it!' Eric exclaimed overly excited. 'I found the address to the video. It was clearly recorded in a smartphone and then sent to Michelle's e-mail account from the house in Venice. So I just traced the smartphone's GPS and I got this address from a warehouse, Downtown LA. I'll send it to your phones guys.'

'Great! I'll call for a SWAT team. You three will go there as soon as I have confirmation. Your mission is to find Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hanna, arrest Sidorov and his men and recover the nuclear weapons.' Hetty said instructing Kensi, Callen and Michelle.

Even though Hetty had explained everything that was going to happen, Kensi was still not feeling at ease. Hetty started to walk away from them, heading to the door but then stopped and turned around.

'Ms. Blye?' Kensi turned around and so did Callen and Michelle. 'Can I talk to you for a minute, in my office?'

'Uh-yeah. Sure…' She said and followed her boss.

**_Day 2: 6.30 am_**

'Kensi,' Hetty started as Kensi sat in front of her, 'I know you're worried about Mr. Deeks…' She took a deep breath as if her next words would be hard to spill out. 'I can't guarantee you our plan will be successful, but I promise I do my best, _we _will do our best including you. You just have to remain reliant.'

'I'll do everything in my power to stop Sidorov and bring back Deeks and Sam.' Kensi nodded.

'I'm glad to hear it. Now, Ms. Blye, let's get ready for this operation.'

**_Day 2: 9.00 am_**

The SUV was completely loaded. Three M16 rifles for each one of them. The SWAT team had just arrived at the address Eric had given them.

The team was taking out the breaching bar from their own SUV as Callen, Kensi and Michelle took out their rifles.

_'Mr. Callen, are you ready to go in?' _Hetty asked from OPS.

Callen looked at Kensi and then Michelle who nodded. 'We are!' He said through the comms.

He had talked to the head of the SWAT team. Their plan was to break in, search the warehouse and find Deeks and Sam. The plan was to get them out of there _alive._

Four SWAT members walked up to the door with the breaching bar when Kensi remembered it was better if she tried to pick the lock. The bar would make enough noise to scare Sidorov and he might run away with Deeks and Sam.

Happily she was able to stop them and pick the lock. They entered the building. Callen was at the front, Kensi and Michelle right behind them. The warehouse had an open dark space right after the door so they all turned their flashlights on. As the SWAT team search through the big and empty space, Callen noticed a corridor on their left. He tapped Kensi's arm who tapped Michelle's and they headed to the corridor.

The team's search was quick so they caught up with the NCIS agents. _'Agent Callen, we found the nukes. They're right there at the end of the building hidden behind boxes of wine. The building looks like a wine cellar.' _One of the SWATs informed through comms.

Half of the SWAT team had stayed outside next to the exit in the back of the building, just in case of a flee. With Callen and his team had remained five members of the team.

Callen found a light coming from the end of the corridor, on his left. It was shining really bright but it wasn't the outside light. _Maybe they're in there, _he thought.

He warned the rest of the people with him who nodded in confirmation that the building was clear.

When they reached the light, they saw it was coming from an ajar door. Callen peeked through the opening. He could see Sam, luckily he was alone in that same bright room where he had appeared on the video. That was all Callen could see without moving the door. He saw Sam and a huge machine right in front of him, probably the one used to torture his partner.

Callen stepped back. Michelle, Kensi and the SWAT team was informed of the view he had and they nodded for him to progress.

Slowly he got back to the door with all of his team behind him. Callen counted to three and kicked the door open and Kensi, who was right beside him entered the room, her M16 ready to shoot.

'NCIS! Sidorov stop right there!' She screamed.

Sidorov turned around with a smile across his face just like his associate. They were right next to Deeks, approaching him to torture him once more. There were brass knuckles in Sidorov's hands and his partner was holding a drill.

Sidorov thought about making a joke about the situation but for some reason he felt like running was his best option. He didn't even thought more agents could be outside. His associate though…he was dumb enough to point his gun at Deeks' head. Kensi, without a second thought pressed the trigger twice. Two shots to his chest and he fell with a loud thud.

'We'll go after Sidorov. You can take care of your agents.' The SWAT member said.

Callen nodded as he put away his weapon to unlace Sam's arms. 'Eric, call 911 for three ambulances!' A shot was heard coming from outside. 'Make that four.' The fourth ambulance would be for Sidorov, obviously.

Deeks was almost passing out when Kensi reached him. 'Hey partner, you're safe now…'

'Hi Fern, I'm happy you're here…' His voice almost a whisper through his toothless and bloody mouth. 'I didn't break my promise…' Deeks managed to say. He tried to smile but he simply couldn't…his whole body was in pain.

'I'm glad you didn't.' She saw his eyes close just like in her nightmare. 'Deeks! Wake up! Don't you dare die on me before or even after the paramedics arrive here. You'll get through this. _We'll _get through this together. I promise you.' This time her nightmare didn't win…

**XXXXX**

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**_-Rita_**


	7. Tell Me

Chapter 7 – Tell Me

_3 months later…_

**_Deeks pov_**

'Morning guys!' I say walking in the bullpen. Everyone has arrived before me, as always. As I like to call it…_fashionably late. _There is something about today that is making me happier than I have been in these last months. _Oh right! Tonight I'm explaining everything to Kensi_, I realized.

'Hey Deeks.' They said in unison.

I sit down at my desk and look over to Kensi. Her head is buried in paperwork and her brown locks are loose, she is completely focused on work. I remember thinking she was too good for me _before I kissed_ her, 3 months ago. She still is. She was focused that when she greeted me she didn't bother to lift her head. There is obviously something on her mind worrying her. Maybe our talk…Who knows?

Working on a Saturday isn't the best thing in the world but if we can wrap this case up today, tomorrow will be great! If Kensi isn't mad at after I talk to her…

I open my laptop to start working when I hear a voice asking, 'Morning everyone, do you think we can solve this case today?' It was Nate. He was coming from his office to the bullpen and passed right by me to the coffee machine.

Kensi, Callen and Sam lift their heads to see who was talking. Callen is the only one of us answering his question, 'Hopefully…Did they find anything new?'

When he finishes asking this, we hear Eric's whistle and we all look up. 'Guys, we found a video that was sent to Valerie Taylor. You should check it out.' He informs and heads back to ops.

We follow him right away.

**_Kensi pov_**

I swallowed hard and thought to myself, _Where have I seen this before? I just hope he's not watching or he'll see how shocked I am._

The video Eric was playing for us showed Lt. James Wright. His face was all bruised. He had a black eye and what seemed to be a broken hand.

That image made me think about three months ago, when Deeks was the one on that side of the camera, captured by Sidorov and I was hopeless. It still hurts to think about those days, the month that followed and not knowing what he went through there. Seeing him that weak, broke my heart. Not knowing if he was going to be okay…

Anyway, Wright appeared in the video asking for mercy and whispering Valerie's name as two men beat him. They had masks, so we couldn't see if the men were Diaz brothers.

In the end of the video, one of the men looked to the camera and said, _'He will be free if Cyrus Russell is released too. Or he dies.'_ He had a Mexican accent so it had to be one of them.

'So James Wright was abducted just for revenge?' I asked.

'It seems to be it… This blackmail will never succeed, at least for Wright. If Cyrus was released, they would just kill Wright.' Callen stated.

'Then we have to rescue Wright as soon as possible.' I said. 'Did you find a location? Something we can look into?'

'Yes! This warehouse,' Eric pulled up a photo of an old building in downtown LA, 'is registered to…Cyrus Russell's cousin: Miguel Diaz. It used to be a repair shop but they had to close it due to financial problems.'

'Do you think they're there with Lt. Wright?' Sam asked, his arms crossed and his hand on his jaw.

'We believe so. There's an SUV registered to the other Diaz brother, Oscar, parked outside the warehouse, down the street. It is the same vehicle we saw two days ago in the video of James Wright's abduction.' Nell answered.

'What do you think G?'

'Let's go! We can't risk losing Wright for blackmail. We'll get him out of there _alive._ He testifies against Cyrus, Oscar and Miguel. This is our best chance.'

**_Deeks pov_**

As soon as Eric pulled up that video, I knew she was completely shocked. I looked at her discretely so she wouldn't see me staring at her. Yes, that's what I was doing, **staring**. _If only I could do something to comfort her. _

When Wright starting for mercy, even I whimpered. I thought about those two days when Sidorov **_enjoyed _**torturing me or torturing Sam. He deserved his punishment.

And then he whispered Valerie's name and a chill passed down my spine. I did the exact same thing 3 months ago. But that detail no one knows…not even Sam.

After the end of the video I was utterly speechless and lost in my thoughts. The last thing I remember hearing before we got out of ops was Callen saying, _'Let's go! We can't risk losing Wright for blackmail. We'll get him out of there alive. He testifies against Cyrus, Oscar and Miguel. This is our best chance.'_ , it was like I was waking up from a dream or a _nightmare…_

We ran out of ops and I just followed Kensi, I had no idea where we were going. 'Hey Kens…?' I asked when she was taking her car out of the parking lot.

'Yes?' She asked back without looking at me.

'So we're going to…exactly where?' I asked not sure if it was a stupid question.

'Please don't tell me you weren't listening to what Nell and Eric were saying…' She said shaking her head.

'I-uh… I'm sorry… Got lost in my thou-' I began but she cut me off.

'It's fine, I get it… I-uh wa-,' she turned right following Sam's car. 'Never mind… Well so we think Diaz brothers are going to kill Lt. Wright for some sort of revenge even if Russell is released. Eric and Nell found a warehouse registered to Miguel Diaz and an SUV that is parked outside that warehouse and it's registered to Oscar Diaz. Callen says this is our best chance to take home James Wright while he's still alive.' Kensi explained.

'So we're just going in that warehouse with no protection and rescue Wright?'

'No, right now we're going to study the place and when we have a strategy Hetty will just call the SWAT team if we need help with the rescue.'

'Stakeout then?'

'For now…yes.'

We arrived at the warehouse and there it was, the SUV Kensi had told me about. Callen and Sam had parked in the back door and we were by the front door.

I looked at Kensi once again. She was completely focused on the warehouse's entrance. She was using her binoculars to see if there were movements inside so she couldn't see me, or at least that's what I thought.

'What are you looking at Shaggy?' Kensi asked without taking the binoculars.

_BUSTEEEED!_ _Incredible… Every. Single. Time. _

'Uh-Nothing… Watching my partner's back right Fern,' I tried but we both knew I was lying. I was just…well, I was just looking at her. Studying her face, studying her every move.

'Sure Deeks,' She put down her binoculars and looked me right in the eyes, 'you always have my back, I always have yours.' She added but the look in her eyes said something else. Her eyes were saying something more like, _Of course we have each other's backs but we both know that's not what you were doing._

_'Kens, do you see anything?' _I heard Callen through the comms.

'Yes, I saw a man passing by a window 2 minutes ago. They are definitely here. What do you have?' Kensi asked.

_'Nothing here. I'll call Eric for permission, there's no need for a SWAT team.'_

'Roger that.'

**_Kensi pov_**

10 minutes after talking to Callen, we already had permission to proceed the rescue and were standing in the front door with our bulletproof vests and M16 in our hands fully loaded.

Callen was leading, behind him was Sam and I and the last of us was Deeks. They called me to pick the lock so we wouldn't screw up the chances we had to save Lieutenant James.

We walked in and saw a bright light, just like the one on the video, in the corner of that warehouse. It looked like a room that had once been the office of the repair shop Eric had told us about. We got closer to the door and Callen looked back. With his fingers he counted…

_…1…2…3!_

'Freeze! Turn around!' Callen yelled.

'Slowly…' Sam said. When the man had turned around completely I saw the tattoo he had on his neck. Just like Cyrus Russell, Oscar Diaz had a snake tattooed in his neck. _Creepyyy,_ I thought, _but then again…it should be a symbol in the cartel…_ Oscar had a gun in his hand and as pointing it to James Wright, who was tied to chair with his eyes on the floor. 'Oscar, drop it!' Sam ordered.

The Mexican man didn't move his hand. So I had to step in, 'Do what he says!' I yelled. But he moved his finger to the trigger and there was no doubt about what he was going to do.

I wasn't the only one who notice the movement of his hand so when Oscar Diaz said 'For my cous-', Callen didn't let him finish the sentence and shoot him twice. He fell to the ground with a thud and Sam knelt next to him to check his pulse. There wasn't any…

'Kens, Deeks…go see if you can find the other one. We'll take care of Wright he seems to be dehydrated.' As we turned around to check the rest of the warehouse I heard Callen calling to ops. 'Hey Eric, yeah, call two ambulances. Oscar Diaz is dead but Lt. Wright should go to the hospital.'

XXXXX

The repair shop couldn't have closed that much time ago. It still had cars completely crashed and all sorts of tools to fix them. Therefore, looking for Miguel Diaz was getting kind of hard because the sun couldn't reach all points of the warehouse.

I was just checking one of those dark spaces of the building when I heard my partner's voice warning me. 'Kens look out! Behind you!' He was coming in my direction with his gun pointed at me and then I realized it was not at me…

When I turned around, it was too late. I felt a bash in my forehead and I fell to the ground automatically helpless. _I was knocked out…_

**_Deeks pov_**

I was two meters away from Kensi when I saw his silhouette. I t had to be Miguel Diaz… And he was going after her! I needed to warn her, 'Kens look out! Behind you!', but when she turned around, it was too late… He hit her in the forehead with a baseball bat and she fell to the ground. I knew she was unconscious and I needed to check on her so I started to get closer walking in the shadows. He was getting ready to beat her to dead and then I jumped to a sunny spot and screamed, 'Don't even think about it!' He looked at me and his answer was a simple grin. I knew he wasn't going to stop. I saw him lift the bat once more, 'STOP!' but his arms started to go in the direction of her face so I shot him…

One bullet to the stomach and the other to the heart.

I ran to see how Kensi was and just as I had thought, she was unconscious. Her jaw was all red and beginning to swell. I called Eric. 'Hey, call for two other ambulances.'

_'What happened? Was there a third man?'_

'No, Diaz hit Kensi with a baseball bat and now I'm pretty sure he's dead. Bring them in as soon as possible please Eric.'

_'Roger that.'_

XXXXX

5 minutes after I talked to Eric, four ambulances were standing in front of the warehouse ready to take the two deceased man to the hospital morgue and give assistance to Lt. Wright and Kensi.

As the ambulances drove off to the hospital, Wright was inside one of the remaining ambulances and the paramedics were trying to hydrate him. He was now fully awake and feeling much stronger. He had a bandage in his eyebrow and an ice pack on his nose and mouth.

Kensi was sitting on the edge of the ambulance and she too had an ice pack on her jaw. I needed to check on her. She was fine but still…

**_Kensi pov_**

I was finally conscious from what Miguel Diaz had done to me. I felt pain all over my face but only my jaw was swollen. The ice was helping though… I just didn't know what had happened to that Diaz brother.

Deeks was approaching me, I had to ask him about it. Maybe he shot him… The last thing I remember seeing before everything went black was Miguel Diaz tattoo in his neck, a _snake…_ just like Russell and Oscar. And the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were Deeks' begging for me to wake up and when I did, he _smiled_ genuinely…

'Hey Kens… How's the jaw?' He asked waking me up from my thoughts.

'Hi… Better now.' I said with a little smile. 'Uh-Thanks Deeks.'

'Uh-yeah no problem Fern...' He said and showed me a crooked smile. And then we just stared at each other's eyes.

'What happened to Miguel Diaz?' I tried not to let this moment become too emotional.

'He knocked you out and was preparing to kill you with a baseball bat so I had to…shoot him.' Deeks said and looked down at his hands. He was definitely not proud of himself… He never liked when he needed to shoot someone.

'Hey,' I tried to get his attention and it worked. He looked me in the eyes again, 'you did what you had to do right? And for saving me, thank you partner…'

'You're welcome…' He said never looking away.

'Guys…You good?' Callen interrupted our staring moment.

'Uh-yeah great!' I said.

'Great, we have to go back now though…'

XXXXX

Back in OSP, Hetty congratulated us for our good job saving Lieutenant James Wright who was now going to be under observation for a few days to make a full recovery. She informed us that Cyrus Russell's trial had been postponed until next week due to the witness' medical condition who couldn't present himself in court Wednesday, the trial's day.

We said our goodbyes and I went to my car, heading home. I had decided I needed some time for myself. I needed a good bubble bath, some beer and a Top Model marathon… After this three things I thought I could have the most peaceful night and I most certainly deserved it.

I was so focused on having some _me-time_ that I had forgotten about the promised I had made to Deeks the night before. I had promised him that I would talk to him that day but after the day we had faced…I didn't even _think_ about it.

I took my bubble bath, got out and dressed up on my favorite sweatpants and the first baggy T-shirt I found in my drawer. I didn't even bother to look down to see which one I had picked. It just felt so comfy and that familiar _scent_…almost like the sea's water and _surfer's wax…So familiar… _

Quickly I looked down to see four giant letters spelling LAPD. It was a blue T-shirt I had _accidentally _stolen from Deeks and even after the few times I had wore it, the damn thing still smelled like my partner, yes the partner I was _infatuated_ with…

And just then I remembered… _We're supposed to talk tonight, I promised him!_, I thought. I looked down at what I was wearing once again, _Maybe I should take this off, he can't see me like this, what should I do? Should I leave it like thi-'_

I didn't have time to think any longer, there was someone knocking on my door. It was Deeks, it had to be him…

I ran to the door, still panicked about wearing his T-shirt the night I had told him to come over so we could talk. I took a deep breath, opened the door and just took his addictive scent…

'Hey Kens…' There he stood, smiling sheepishly at me before pointing to my T-shirt, 'I thought you said you had, and I quote it, _shot it to put it out of its misery_?' He teased as he made himself come in my living room.

**_Deeks pov_**

Kensi had promised me a little conversation about what had happened three months before, about _us_… And this time there was no way I was going to back down on it.

'Hey Deeks. Good evening to you too…sure, come in!' She teased.

'I brought some donuts for you… I thought that after today you would like something sweet.' I said sweetly.

'Thanks Shaggy, want a beer?' I nodded and when she came back from the kitchen I was already sitting on the couch.

'So, what are we watching tonight?' I asked, trying to avoid the real reason I was there for.

'I was going to take on a Top Model marathon but I know for a fact that I promised you something yesterday. I told you I wanted to know what had happened with Sidorov but I didn't want you to feel pressured and then I almost ran away from you because you were so shocked and yesterday you tried to explain something but I was too tired so I told you I would let you talk today…' She said as she sat on the couch next to me.

'Yeah… Look, I'm sorry for what I said the other night… You caught me by surprise and I was speechless…'

'I was the one who pushed you..I'm the one who should be sorry.' She looked me in the eyes, 'But really, talk to me Deeks… I just want to help you.'

'It's very hard for me to talk about it Kens…'

'I know…' Kensi said quietly as she looked away.

'Hey,' I gently took her chin in my hand to make her look at me again, 'what's on your mind?'

She just shook her head. 'Kensi… What's wrong?' I asked again.

Kensi took a deep breath as if to steady herself. 'It's just that… Well, before Jack left me I tried to help him in every way that I could but still…he slipped through my fingers… Now it just feels like a déjà vu, it feels like I'm losing you Deeks, my best friend…' She just stared at her hands but I was pretty sure she was trying to hold back some tears. And that thought only was heartbreaking…

'Kens, I'm not Jack… I'll be here.' Now it was me the one holding back his tears… 'You won't lose me, I promise.'

'Deeks, I know the things you talk to your psychologist about are just vague and you have never told anyone what you really feel… Will you let me help you?' Her eyes were back on mine and she was almost pleading.

'It was horrible there Kens…

_Is Quinn also an agent?_ – This was the only question Sidorov would make. He tortured Sam first but when he saw he wasn't going to help him, he turned to me… They strapped me that thing to my mouth and Sidorov asked once again, I told him I didn't even know Sam that I was just a cop from LAPD, nothing more… But he wasn't satisfied, so he turned on the drill and…' I needed to stop, the images were running through my mind, scaring me as I was telling Kensi the whole story. Nevertheless, she kept looking at me, listening to this with her full attention. She saw this part was really hard for me to digest so she just took my hand in hers. I looked down and felt strength to continue…

'…they used it to pull out some of my teeth or other times they would just pierce my tongue and just before you arrived, they wanted to use the drill on my… my eyes.' I finished this sentence and Kensi let out a gasp. I couldn't go on with this right now… I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and when she saw this she squeezed my hand. It felt good having her to reassure me that I was not alone. I wish I had told her earlier…

'Come here…' Suddenly she pulled me into a warm hug and I couldn't help but cry in her shoulder for some time… I had been holding those tears for too long and we both knew it.

XXXXX

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**'****_Surround yourself with positive people.'_**


	8. Don't You Remember

Chapter 8 – Don't You Remember

**_Kensi pov_**

I needed to do that…hug him. I was just standing there holding his hand to give him some strength but when he started to cry right there in front of me, I just couldn't take it. He was so…_vulnerable. _He had been scared this whole time and now I knew why. I should've been there for him even more…

We finally pulled back and I looked him in the eyes once again. I wanted to ask about the kiss but now I couldn't. It seemed cruel and insensitive. His baby blue eyes were glimmering with teardrops filling them. _Heartbreaking sight…_

'Well I should-uh…go. Monty is waiting for me to go for a walk…' He feigned this hurry, but I knew he was just trying to run away. His eyes were really red, anyone could say he had been crying but now he was wiping the tears on his cheeks.

'Stay a little longer, I can make you some coffee…I just have something to tell you too…' I swallowed hard. I needed to tell him, he _deserved_ to know, what he and I had been through when he was in the hospital. That first week…

'I'm sorry Kens… I can't right now… I-uh…this is too much for one day. We'll talk some other night and I'll tell you other things…' He said vaguely as he stood up. I understood though, saying all the horrible things he had been put through… No wonder he had those nightmares.

We headed to the door and when he was outside he turned around to face me. I was leaning on the wall and looking at him.

'Thanks Kens…' He said quietly and looked down at his nervous hands. 'This _'thing'_ we have way really help us…_me_.' He looked into my eyes and let a crooked smile form as my eyes widened with his words.

**_Deeks pov_**

There it was… I admitted our 'thing' and I couldn't avoid the grin forming in my lips. But when I saw her eyes grow wider… _Maybe it was a mistake,_ I thought. _No! We have to start acting like the adults we are…Well then maybe I should just tell her how I feel, that would be a little bit more mature, I guess…_

Instead of that, I opted for a gentle goodbye since Kensi was speechless. 'Uh- I guess I'll see you on Monday right?' She just nodded. I was beginning to walk away when I remembered and walked back to where I had been standing, 'Hey and-uh get better soon.' I said with a warm smile as I pointed to my own jaw.

What Kensi did after these words left me completely overwhelmed. She descended the three steps of the entrance to her house and leaned in to me placing a sweet kiss on my cheek and saying, 'I will partner. Good night Deeks…' And when she came back to her door, she looked back at me and shot me a sheepish smile before going inside and closing the door behind her.

'Good-uh night Fern…' My voice was almost a whisper and my left hand was still on my face, trying to save that kiss just for me with a smirk spread across my face.

I stood there on her house's entrance for some good 5 minutes. There was no harm in that, it was almost midnight and the streets were empty so I didn't look like a creep because no one was watching.

Probably I did look like a creep, the thing is I felt more like a dreamer… Even though I had told Kensi about the way I had been tortured earlier that night and I was feeling rather emotional and darker again, that gesture, coming from her, would make me dream of a better tomorrow…

I then turned around and headed to my car, which was parked on the other side of the street. I took off and went home to an awaiting Monty.

**_Kensi pov_**

I walked inside and quickly closed the door so he couldn't try anything else after what I had just done. It was funny though, seeing his face like that. What was I thinking? I _clearly _was thinking!

Deeks had been telling me such deep things and he _cried_ in front of me and I was acting like a 12 year-old girl around the cutest boy in class. _He's driving me insane!_ , that's the only explanation I found for that action. And then I looked down to what I was wearing: I was still in his LAPD T-shirt that was now stained with his fresh tears.

I had tried all night not to be insensitive… I had played along when he teased me, I listened to every word he said carefully and I had hugged him to give him strength when he was fragile and I hadn't pushed him into _the_ _kiss_ subject. For some reason, I felt the need to say goodbye with that gesture.

Not to seem cold or anything but if I could go back in time, I would've done it again. The kiss lasted long enough for me to take in his scent. His soft skin and his shaggy hair smelled like the ocean. And when my lips touched his face, I felt him shivering. My first thought was _Oh crap! What did I just do?_

When I closed the door behind me I ran to the bathroom. I washed my face trying to calm down but that was a difficult task. I decided it was better if I went to bed.

Already in bed, I reached for my iPod that was on my headstand. Rather that listening to my usual techno I decided to search through my playlists until I found one of those I hadn't listened to in a long time. I put my earphones on and just pressed play.

I was half asleep when I heard a familiar voice singing and in a fraction of a second I was fully awake. It was one of my favorite songs of all time, _Wonderwall_ by Oasis.

_Backbeat, the word was on the street_

_That the fire in your heart is out_

_I'm sure you've heard it all before_

_But you never really had a doubt_

_I don't believe that anybody_

_Feels the way I do about you now_

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would like to say to you_

_But I don't know how_

_Because maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall_

This chorus reminded me of Deeks and how much I loved him. He was truly my wonderwall, more than Jack could've been during our time together. Deeks entered in my life out of the blue and everyday with him I got to know him a little better. Even when everything in my day was going wrong, seeing his cheeky smile helped me and made me happier.

Then why couldn't I just tell him this? Growing up I never had much trouble telling guys how I felt. Well that was until my dad's death, after this the only one who could actually make me feel good about myself again was Jack but he never made me feel like that daddy's girl who was secure of herself. Somehow Deeks did. He made me feel like that 12 year-old daddy's girl who was a tomboy but never had problems with boys.

The only difference between me and that little girl was that I was damaged, I have been hurt in the past. My father's death, Jack's departure… It still hurts and I didn't know if Deeks wants to be with someone like…_me_.

**_Deeks pov_**

On the way to my house, I tried to set my thoughts on other things beside Kensi. But that was getting really hard especially after I saw her in my T-shirt and that little kiss. _She looked so small and young in my shirt, it was kind of cute… Like everything in her actually!, _I thought.

I sang along to some old musics until I heard the man on the radio talking, _'Now, for those of you who are in love, sit back and call your loved ones,' _and I prepared myself to change the radio station but then, _'here's some Goo Goo Dolls!'_ So I put my hand back on the wheel.

Goo Goo Dolls are one of my favorite bands and I just wanted to know which song they were going to sing so I could change to some other station.

And then I started to hear the first chords…

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_And sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

I didn't have the courage to go and change the station, _Iris_ was absolutely my favorite song from them so I just started singing along. Sadly, it made me think of _her…_ I could fight all I wanted but at the end of the day – even if it was for a minute – she would always be on my mind.

_I can't fight these feelings anymore. I don't care if she's damaged, I know she's endgame for me. There's no one else I want for me!, _I seemed really determined as I walked inside my house but that certainty started to fade once I sank on my bed. _She's the one for me but there's no way she sees me like that… I'm just her…best friend. Nothing more._

But then a remembered something someone once had told me '_To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did._' So I figured she needed to at least know…I had nothing else to lose.

**_Kensi pov_**

**_*FLASHBACK*_**

_3 months ago…_

'Where is he? I need to see him.' I asked Hetty who was at the hospital when Deeks and Sam had arrived. At the same time, Michelle had asked about Sam just as worried as I was. Callen was just behind us.

'They are both in surgery. Mr. Hanna has severe internal damages and Mr. Deeks has a broken arm and a lot of damages in his mouth.' Hetty answered quietly. 'Please, Mrs. Hanna, Ms. Blye, take a sit, the only thing we can do now is wait.' We both nodded and found chairs near Hetty and Callen who had stayed in the same place. I knew Callen would want to talk to Hetty so I tried to focus on their conversation.

'Hetty, you're holding something back… What's happening? Is it Sam or is it Deeks?' I heard him ask.

'It's Mr. Deeks…' She said after a silent moment. I wasn't completely shocked but I couldn't help feeling like I was being stabbed in my heart multiple times.

'What's with him?'

'He has a lot more than just a broken arm and some teeth missing…' She started and I couldn't take it anymore. If Hetty was going to tell Callen everything then I deserved to know as well. Deeks is my partner.

I stood up and walked towards them. As soon as Callen's eyes widened at my sight, Hetty looked back to see my tearful eyes and the most worried expression they had ever seen coming from me, 'Tell me Hetty, everything. I deserve to know and please, please don't let any details out this time.' She simply nodded before she started to explain.

XXXXX

After 3 hours we were still waiting for updates but no one seemed to know anything about them. Neither about Marty Deeks nor Sam Hanna. Eric and Nell had arrived an hour later after we had.

Callen was sitting on the ground with his head leaning back on the wall because he couldn't stand how uncomfortable the hospital chairs were. Nell and Eric were murmuring about what had gone wrong with the case, why Sidorov had trusted Janvier. Michelle was sitting on the first chair near the door with her head buried in her hands, with tears coming out of her eyes and falling to the ground. She had called her parents explaining everything and asking if their daughter could stay with them for the night. Hetty was the one who showed more calmness, as _always._ Even if the world was crumbling down this woman would still try to remain as calm as she could. And I… Well I kept pacing back and forth in the waiting room still thinking about Hetty's words about Deeks' medical condition.

_'They say Mr. Deeks' condition is critical. More than the broken arm and the lost teeth…' She sighed and took a deep breath, 'He looks like he has been brutally beaten. There are bruises all over his body. The paramedics think he will be in severe pain once he's out of morphine. There is also a deep wound near his right eye that spreads until his forehead…' Then she looked into my eyes and took my hands in hers. 'Kensi, they don't know what they are going to face inside that OR. Whatever it happens, we're all here for you.'_ _Callen knew what was going to happen so he pulled me into a reassuring hug. And I let the tears fall…_

The first thought that had crossed my mind 3 hours ago was, _He'll wake up and I'll help him with anything he needs. I will never leave his side._ Right now though… I wasn't so sure about that. And I started to wonder in my head and play 'what if?'. _What if he doesn't wake up? What will I do then? What if he needs machines to survive?_

XXXXX

Five hours after we stepped in that _damn_ hospital a doctor came to the waiting room to inform us. 'Family of Sam Hanna?' He asked looking at one of the charts in his hands.

We all turned to him and stood up. Hetty walked towards him, 'That's us. How is he?'

'I'm Dr. Campbell James and my team is taking care of your agents. Well Mr. Hanna had internal burns due to the electric shocks he suffered. We managed to heal the massive ones but we will only know more once he wakes up. He may develop some fever during this first week but we'll keep an eye on him.' He explained.

Michelle sighed. Even though she was relieved, she wanted to be by his side. 'Can I see him?'

'He's being moved to a room in intensive care unit. Only one person at a time upstairs.'

'I'm his wife, I need to be there.' Michelle was almost begging.

'3rd floor. Room 1014.' He said with a sympathetically smile.

She took off almost running looking for the closest elevator. I needed to know about Deeks, 'And Marty Deeks? Do you have any news from him?'

'Marty Deeks…?' He said as he checked the other chart. 'Uh-yes. As I told you before,' He pointed at Hetty, 'Mr. Deeks has a broken arm which has now a plaster. He's no longer bleeding from his mouth, we fixed the wounds but he'll need surgery for the reconstruction of 5 teeth. The cut near his eye… He was truly lucky. Two inches closer to the eye and he would be blind by now. We disinfected it and put a bandaged that we'll be changed every two days until it's fully healed.' He explained but there was something he was holding back… _The bruises!_

'What about the bruises in his body?' Callen asked before I could.

Dr. James took a deep breath and then faced us. 'Mr. Deeks had contusions all over his body due to a beating. We tried everything but he started collapsing on the table and we needed to submit him into an induced coma. Probably it won't take long until he wakes up but he will be in severe pain when he does.'

I was already crying but I needed to see Deeks. 'Can I see him? I'm his partner…' _But I wanted something more._

'3rd floor. Room 1015, right next to Mr. Hanna's.'

'Thank you.' And I ran to the closest elevator.

XXXXX

When I walked in, I was completely shocked. Deeks had all these wires around him connecting him to machines that were keeping him alive. _What I was afraid of… _

I sat down in a chair next to his bed and put his hand between mine. I then started a speech to try to make him wake up. 'Hey Deeks, the doctor said your surgery went well except for the part of you collapsing. But you're strong and you'll get through this…_We'll_ get through Deeks I already told you. No way I'm losing you for these machines.' I sighed. 'Deeks you have to wake up partner, I need to tell you something that you must know… I can't hold this inside anymore, I… I-uh I'm in love with you Deeks, I can't fight this feeling…' My voice was nothing more than a whisper and though he was asleep I could swear he had squeezed my hand…

XXXXX

I was always in the hospital, I'd only pass by my house to shower and eat something otherwise I spent my days next to Deeks. Two weeks went by and my hopes were not high. Deeks hadn't woken up and he didn't react to our voices or the doctor's. The cut near his eye was improving every day. But his bruises seemed worse to me but Dr. James insisted they were looking better than in day one. That afternoon everything changed…

I was sitting in the chair next to him and I was holding his hand just like the other days. I was talking to him a begging, 'Deeks, please…please wake up! I can't stand this uncertainty, you're strong partner, please…' And I felt a squeeze but unlike the first day, this was a strong squeeze and my tearful eyes shot up to his face as I stood up still holding his hand. 'Deeks? Deeks are you waking up buddy?'

'Fern…' His husky voice was more like a whisper and I could see him struggle to open his.

'Deeks! I'll call a nurse, give me one second.' I was so happy for him than I ran out of the room to call a nurse.

He was going to be fine…

**_*End Flashback*_**

**_2:30 am_**

I was wide awake, remembering the last three months alongside Deeks. I couldn't sleep..

Deeks went home a month after waking up from coma and I practically moved in with him. I'd help him with everything he struggled with, mostly his nightmares. It was rare the night I stayed in the couch until sunrise.

After a month back home, he was getting better rather quickly but although he tried to hide it, I knew his body was hurting due to the bruises. One day, he decided he needed to get back in the water. Maybe the water would help him. So I went with him. I took his surfboard in case he'd like to try surfing again. He didn't try that day but every day ever since, I went with him until he started surfing.

It was as if he had never stopped. He was still as good as I remembered… The sea's water did help him heal his bruises but I noticed surfing was exhausting for him now. He could barely stay there for an hour but that was a start… Deeks needed to get his old life back and the place to start was definitely the beach.

Although he was getting better he would always try to cover the pain he had with humor. But that wouldn't work for me, I could right through him…

In that moment, at 2.30 am, after I talked to Deeks and things got weird because I had kissed him I started wondering…

_'What if something happens to me or to him again and next time I don't get so lucky? We're both alive now but no one knows what the future holds… When he was dying I was so sure he needed to wake up so I could put my heart out. When he wasn't listening I told him I loved him. But now he's back to his old life and I… I'm still here having trouble with communication skills!'_ I thought. _'Eleanor Roosevelt once said: __**Do one thing every day that scares you.**_' '…And that's what I have to do!' I whispered as I felt my eyes closing.

XXXXX

**Hi everyone!**

**The last flashback before the finale… What do you think? Will they get together or will they just be as stubborn as always? I wanna see your bets LOL.**

**I don't know if the final chapter will uploaded next week because I'm going on holidays and I don't have full access to the Internet but I'll try my best to post it as soon as possible.**

**Other thing: make sure to check out my new story ****_Dreams We Never Thought We Had_****. Since this one is almost finished I had this idea about something more "cute". It will be a long story and definitely a lot less angsty than this one.**

**-Rita**


	9. Wonderwall

Chapter 9 – Wonderwall

Two weeks went by and neither Kensi nor Deeks had talked about their little _incident_ at Kensi's place. Two weeks since Kensi and Deeks' realization of their feelings for each other. Two weeks since they had decided they had to take the risk and tell each other their 'thing' was more than just that. They were in love with each other for years now but too scared to admit it. But for some reason, that talk had been postponed and was yet to happen.

It was Friday and the team had just finished a case. The three agents and the detective were sitting in the bullpen with their heads down on the papers before them finishing their reports.

'Done! How about a team night out?' Callen asked breaking the silence.

'You paying G?' Sam said with a grin.

'Why not…' He shrugged his shoulders and stretched.

'I'm in! Kens?' Sam looked at the younger agent.

'If Callen's paying, how can I say no?' Kensi grinned.

'What about you Deeks?' Callen turned his attention to the detective who had been staring at Kensi when she answered. And not just looking, _actually_ staring…

'Uh-yeah… sure, that should be fun.' He said vaguely, lost in his thoughts.

'Great, I'll ask Eric, Nell and Hetty if they want to join us. We'll meet at the club at 10.30 pm?' Callen asked as he went upstairs.

'Yeah, see you then guys. I'm gonna see if Michelle wants to go. Our daughter is in a slumber party.' Sam grabbed his things and left.

Kensi and Deeks were left alone packing their things. There was a silent moment after Callen and Sam left that was getting awkward and it annoyed Kensi. Although those two weeks hadn't been weird between her and Deeks around the office, whenever they were alone things would become…rather _tense_. She felt the need to break the silence there.

'So…do you want a ride Fern?' Deeks asked, doing the same thing she was about to do and trying to look relaxed.

Kensi didn't know what to say. Maybe that was the chance they had to talk. But then she shouldn't go with him. _'Well it's just a ride right?'_ She could go with him…yeah! She could…

'Sure, thanks Deeks.' She said with a sheepish smile across her face.

'No problem Kens.' He smiled back as he picked his stuff, ready to leave. 'Your house at 10?'

She just nodded and he left. Two minutes later she was out the door.

XXXXXX

_Meanwhile in ops…._

Callen entered the room to see Eric and Nell sitting in their chairs looking rather bored and Hetty checking all the details on their last case. They sure needed a drink.

'Hey guys,' All three heads shot up, 'the four of us are heading to that club from last time later tonight… Uh-do you wanna come with us?'

'I'm in. Eric?' Nell turned to her partner.

'Yeah I can go. I think I need a drink after this week.'

'What about you Hetty?' Callen asked.

'Hmm… I believe I am sitting this one out. I have some other plans for this evening.' With that she started to walk out of ops. 'Good night and have a nice weekend lady and gentlemen.'

'So what time Callen?' Eric asked.

'10.30pm. See you guys then, I'll still grab a bite before we go. Bye!' And he raced downstairs to get his things.

'Hey Nell, do want to go together? I can give you a ride if you'd like…' Eric smiled sheepishly.

Nell felt herself blushing and she looked to her computer so Eric wouldn't notice. 'Uh-yeah! That would be good…'

'Alright then, I'll pass by your house.' He said and stood up from his chair. 'See you!'

XXXXXX

Kensi had had dinner, showered and gotten dressed. It was 9.45 and she getting was rather anxious about that night. She had put on her favorite dress: it was a tight black dress that ended in the middle of her thigh. 4 inch black high heels and a matching purse were her choices to go with the dress.

Deeks would come in ten minutes and Kensi couldn't help pacing back and forth on her living room. For what seemed like the hundredth time she checked her watch and her purse. There was her phone, key, wallet. Everything she needed. Then her phone buzzed. It was a text from Deeks:

_HEY KENS, MY CAR WON'T START. CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE INSTEAD? DEEKS J_

Kensi quickly typed her answer:

_HEY, YEAH BE THERE IN TEN! ;) KENSI_

She grabbed her jacket, locked her door and went to her car. In less than ten minutes she was at Deeks' door waiting for him.

_I'M HERE, HURRY UP YOU PRINCESS!_

She teased him, seeing he was taking too long. In no time he texted her back:

_IT TAKES TIME FOR YOU TO BE IMPRESSED KENSALINA! :P_

Kensi rolled her eyes and got out of the car for some air. What could possibly take so long? Finally Deeks got out and when he spotted Kensi his chin almost fell to the ground. The dress she was wearing looked perfect on her and he thought he had never seen her so beautiful. Probably that was a lie but in that moment she looked so stunning he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to say a word.

When he reached her and had managed to close his mouth. When she looked at him she felt a sudden need to mock him a little bit since he had been so impressed when he got out of the building. 'Is that supposed to impress me? 'Cause it seems to me that you were the one impressed!' Kensi asked with sly smile on her face.

'I happen to know that you are just as impressed as I was back there.' Deeks shot back with a cocky smile.

'And I happen to know that you're wrong Deeks.' She said rolling her eyes. He _wasn't_ wrong. She was impressed, how could she not? He had put on a navy blue shirt matching his eyes, black suit pants and a vest similar to the one he had worn when they were undercover that night Kensi said she was Deeks' type of girl. He was sharp in that outfit but she would never admit it…

'Sure Fern… Shall we?' He asked pointing to the car.

'Uh- yeah.' Kensi said following Deeks to the car.

XXXXXX

Miraculously they made it to the club in no time. It was exactly 10.30pm when they arrived. Kensi parked her car near Sam's and looked around to see Callen's and Eric's there too. But where was Nell's?

They made their way inside and saw the table where everyone was sitting. _Everyone_, even Nell. Someone had gotten a ride from Eric... Next to her were Eric, Callen, Sam and finally Michelle.

'Hey guys!' The five of them greeted Kensi and Deeks.

'Hi!' They said in unison as they sat down next to Nell.

Kensi then turned to Nell and whispered in her ear, 'How did you get to the club?'

Nell blushed and whispered back, 'Eric gave me a ride…' and she smiled sheepishly.

Kensi's eyes widened and she picked up one of the drinks the waiter had brought to the table. 'Are you two like….together?' She took a sip.

'No, no! Do you actually think…Us? No!' Nell quickly denied.

'The more you deny it…' Kensi wiggled her eyebrows.

'Like your thing with Deeks?' Nell shot back.

'There's no 'thing' between me and Deeks…'

'The more you deny it…' Nell repeated what Kensi had said about her and Eric.

Kensi was speechless so she decided to change subject. 'Let's go dance!'

Nell knew what she was doing but she couldn't push it so turned to the rest of the team, 'Guys we're going to the dance floor, anyone wants to come?'

Deeks was the first one to accept, then Eric. Finally Michelle convinced Sam to join her. The last one was Callen, 'Don't you wanna come G?'

'No…I'll pass big guy!' He chuckled and with that they all left for the dance floor leaving him alone until his phone buzzed. Callen took it out of his pocket and when he saw the ID, he smiled: it was a message from Paris Summerskill.

_CALLEN, THE RED TEAM HAS A NEW MISSION NEAR LA. HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON! =)_

He couldn't deny it, Callen was happy that Paris had remembered him. He quickly answered her:

_WILL YOU LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK THIS TIME? =)_

Two minutes later his phone buzzed once more:

_WHO KNOWS ;)_

_I'm good with complicated, _Callen thought and smiled.

XXXXXX

_Meanwhile in the dance floor…_

Nell and Kensi had started to dance alone while Sam and Michelle were dancing together and Eric and Deeks were trying not to look awkward. In reality the two of them had accepted to dance because they were afraid other guys would start flirting with Nell or Kensi. Deeks was definitely worried since he had seen Kensi in the club before. He knew she could get any guy she wanted and he wanted _her_ so there was no way he'd let her go to the dance floor alone. Eric's thoughts were similar to Deeks' so they said 'yes' as soon as Nell asked. Plus there was the other thing they had talked about…

Kensi and Nell had been dancing around for about 10 minutes when Deeks started seeing other guys looking at them. No one else seemed to notice it so he gently elbowed Eric who turned to him quickly. 'What bro?'

'There's a bunch of guys looking at Nell and Kensi…' Deeks informed.

Eric tried to look like he didn't care. 'So what?' Deeks lifted his eyebrow.

'Really Eric? Are you trying to deny your love for Nell to me? I'm Deeks…I know what you're going through…' He confessed.

'Yeah…who am I trying to fool? What should we do then?' Eric looked a bit worried this time.

'How are your dance skills?' Deeks grinned and started walking towards Kensi. He touched her shoulder to make her turn around and face him. 'Hey Fern! Wanna dance with your charming partner?' He smirked and she rolled her eyes. She turned around to see Nell talking to Eric.

'Why not Shaggy?' She smiled, 'You better not step on my feet though…' Kensi warned.

'I'm a better dancer than you think Sugar Bear!' He joked.

'So, I see you and Eric had the same idea…'

'Yeah we're just two guys dancing with their partners!' He shrugged.

'You are? No other reason? 'Cause Eric gave Nell a ride… And now he's dancing with her…' Kensi suggested.

'Alright… He texted me when he was getting ready saying he was giving Nell a ride and I made him a proposition: tonight we'd dance with the most gorgeous girls in this place. So….that's what we did…' Deeks admitted.

Kensi felt herself blushing and couldn't help the curve her lips were forming. This was the first compliment he had said to her in months. He hadn't been himself since he had been tortured and hearing that felt good. Not just because she loved him, because it felt like he was slowly becoming himself again…

'Thanks Deeks.' She said smiling and squeezing his shoulder.

'I only tell the truth Kensi.' He winked and made her spin around in his arms.

XXXXXX

Michelle and Sam had made their way back to the table a little after Deeks started dancing with Kensi. Half an hour later Kensi, Nell, Deeks and Eric thought they needed a drink so they went back to where their teammates were.

'Hey Kens, you don't even know what Callen was doing when we got here!' Sam chuckled and received a glare from Callen.

'Sam, don't!'

Kensi was now comfortably sated in the couch between Nell and Deeks. Her partner had absentmindedly put his hand around her waist. She didn't mind though… It felt good, he was being discrete and no one else had noticed. 'What was it?'

'I caught the guy smiling at his phone…' Sam wiggled his eyebrows.

'Who were you talking to Callen?' Kensi joked.

'No one…' Callen lied.

'Sure G… Well I won't push it, I know you partner. Sooner or later…' Sam smiled kindly.

'Let us know when he tells you Sam!' Kensi laughed.

'As if…!' Callen said but couldn't help the laugh.

XXXXXX

It was around 1.30am when Michelle and Sam decided to go home. For the past two hours they had been talking but it was getting late and most of them were tired since it had been a long Friday.

When Michelle and Sam went home, everyone else started heading to their cars. They got outside, bid their goodbyes and entered the cars.

'Don't forget to take me home Fern!' Deeks joked but Kensi was still thinking about his hand on her waist.

'Hey Deeks?' And she needed to say something about it…

'That's me…' He remarked.

'Why was your hand on my waist ever since we went back to the table?' She asked, not looking at him.

Deeks suddenly felt really uncomfortable and had to sit up in the car seat. 'It was?' He tried. 'I really didn't realized, I don't think it was in your- I-uh…' He started to babble and Kensi rolled her eyes so she decided to change subject to leave him even more confused and uncomfortable.

'Do you think Nell went home with Eric?' She asked. _'I thought you were better than that Kensi…Gossip? Really? _, she thought.

'Maybe… they looked pretty happy with their awkward little dance…' Deeks stated.

'HA! And you think our dance was brilliant?' Kensi laughed.

'But theirs was a really cute nerd dance!' Deeks started laughing along with her. There was no doubt in his mind that her laugh was the most contagious he had ever heard.

The rest of the ride to Deeks' place was quite nice, with nothing more than chit chat and they got to his house in 30 minutes. It was 2 in the morning, they had been clubbing with their friends but none of them was drunk so Deeks had an idea…

'Hey Fern do you want to go upstairs and grab a beer?' He asked.

'Uh-yeah why not?' Kensi smiled.

'Then let's get inside, it's getting cold out here…'

XXXXXX

Deeks handed Kensi a beer as he sank down on the couch next to her.

'God! My feet are killing me!' She stated taking off her heels to make herself more comfortable.

Then leaving absolutely no space for answer or refusal, he just placed his beer on the coffee table, grabbed her feet to put them on his lap and started rubbing them. She looked him in the eyes and smiled, she was thankful but there was no way she was going to say it out loud. _Too proud…_

She was loving it though… His hands were really soft and her feet were hurting so bad…she couldn't say no to that massage.

Well after that massage Deeks got them a second… And a third… And after the fourth both of them fell asleep on the couch. Kensi was still in her gorgeous dress and Deeks had only taken off his vest. There was nothing out of normal in it, they had fallen asleep in the same space before on many Friday nights they had spent together and when they were undercover as Melissa and Jason. But it felt different…it felt more _real_.

It was not so long after that Kensi woke up and started looking for her phone. She finally grabbed it and her eyes widened. It was 4 in the morning and when she looked over her shoulder Deeks was right there behind her sleeping like a baby. He had his arms around her waist in a surprisingly tight grip. When she tried to break free from his embrace he woke up. Kensi looked over her shoulder again.

'Deeks…I didn't mean to wake you up…It's late, I-I have to go.' She whispered.

Deeks was slowly opening his eyes. 'Hey Fern… It's fine…' He said and quickly took his arms off her waist before her could get hurt. Holding Kensi like that felt good but he knew he was crossing some lines there…

They made their way to the door and Deeks opened it. Kensi walked outside and when she was on his doorstep she turned around to face him. 'So I guess I'll see you on Monday right partner?' He said scratching the back of his head looking at the ground.

'Uh…yeah.' She said simply but suddenly a tip of courage hit her and she felt the need to tell Deeks what she had been thinking about the last weeks and months… _Hell!_ The last years… 'Look Deeks…' Kensi started and he looked into her mismatched eyes, his own filled with hope. 'I have something to say…And I-I need to tell you tonight because I don't think I will ever have the guts to say something like this again…' Her eyes were waiting for his answer.

Deeks nodded his head gently, there was a mix of curiosity and fear. Almost as if he was in cloud nine and at the same time knew when to be down to Earth. Kensi took that nod as a _'go on…'_

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, trying to choose her next words carefully. 'Okay so here it goes: we've been dancing around this 'thing' that we have between us for years now… In the beginning I thought you were very handsome but you seemed like a womanizer so I tried to keep some distance. Then when we started being together every day, we'd hang out and one thing led to another… After Jack I never thought I would ever believe in true happiness ever again and you showed me I was wrong…' Kensi had tears on her eyes when she blurted this out and was looking down at her hands. She couldn't face Deeks when she was putting her heart out… 'I don't know how do you feel about me but the fact is that…,' She swallowed hard again, 'is that the kiss you gave me made me change my point of view… The last 3 months I've been wondering around this question: Could our 'thing' become something more? For me, our partnership has grown into something more than just our banter, the flirting…you know…' She trailed off when she felt his finger on her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes.

'Kens… I understand… And I-I have something I need to tell you too.' He took one of her hands in his own. He was as nervous as she.

She was looking him in the eyes, trying to find out what he was feeling. But in that precise moment she felt the urge to do something. He began to speak…

'I think our partnership is sort of diffic-' And oops! Kensi couldn't hold it any longer. She kissed him to shut him up just had he had done and when they pulled back, his eyes widened, he was breathless and speechless. She regretted kissing him the moment she saw his eyes grow wide… Kensi put her hand over her mouth as he looked skeptical. Then the only thing she managed to say was 'I'm sorry…' Her voice was nothing but a whisper when she turned her back to him and started to walk away. But he surprised her and grabbed her arm to turn her around and look her in the eyes once more.

Kensi hadn't been able to hold back her tears anymore so her cheeks were filled with teardrops that had slipped from her eyes. Deeks reached up to her face and wiped her tears and smile. _Why is he smiling? _, she thought. 'What do you want Deeks? I'm sorry for the kiss….it won't happen again, I promis-' he interrupted her by putting his finger on her lips. He knew he was playing with fire by doing that but he didn't even mind…

'You caught off guard, you surprised and the thing is, you can't always win and that's why I'm not letting you slip away from me this time Kens… Honestly, don't be sorry, because I'm not sorry about this either…' And with that said, Deeks pulled her close enough for him to place the most passionate kiss of their lives on Kensi's lips. One thing led to another… The kiss became more heated and none of them had control over the situation anymore. Deeks had picked her up and Kensi hard put her legs around his waist as they made their way to his bedroom…

_THE END_

XXXXXX

**Hey guys! **

**So here it is…the end of this story!**

**I wanted to thank you for reading this, but mostly for all the kind reviews I received, all the alerts and the favorites. That means the world to me honestly! =)**

**Well, the end kind of looks like a cliffhanger right? That's right! Last week I got a suggestion by one of you saying I should write the sequel… I thought about it and… that's what I'm going to start soon! =D (Thanks to K0nflicti0n)**

**As a spoiler: it will start the morning after the end of this one.**

**So I hope you liked it and stay tuned for more chapters of my new story, ****_Dreams We Never Thought We Had _**

**_-_****Rita**


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